Terrible Jokes Thread

[spkennyuk]

New flavour launched in time for Christmas Party season...

View attachment 120730

Incase Mrs MLC gets a headache ?

 

[MarkMas]

I was watching an Australian cookery show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue.

I was surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.

 

[Ebenezer]

I was watching an Australian cookery show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue.

I was surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.

You have sunk to a new low
Eb

 

[CatmanV2]

You have sunk to a new low
Eb

Overbeat the egg whites, obviously

C

 

[MarkMas]

You have sunk to a new low
Eb

Thank you. That was very much my intention.

 

[philw696]

 

[zagatoes30]

This will sort them out

 

[Wack61]

I thought this was a joke but apparently not


I wonder if the price includes the tip

 

[zagatoes30]

 

[midlifecrisis]

Just read a book on Swimming the English Channel by Frances Neer...

 

[philw696]

Just read a book on Swimming the English Channel by Frances Neer...

It's La Manche over here

 

[fphil]

It's La Manche over here

Channel = Détroit du Pas de Calais

 

[Flint]

I thought this was a joke but apparently not


I wonder if the price includes the tip

View attachment 120764

Why does water have a 'best before' date ?
It's being doing the rounds for over 4 billion years !

 

[philw696]

We've all been there

 

[CatmanV2]

Why does water have a 'best before' date ?
It's being doing the rounds for over 4 billion years !

You should do a little digging on 'water wands' and 'live water' Utterly terrifying what **** humans will fall for

C

 

[Wack61]

Utterly terrifying what **** humans will fall for

C

Like tiny pots of face cream

 

[philw696]

Like tiny pots of face cream

View attachment 120808

Cream from the Sea.
Cream from the Man far better value

 

[Wack61]

Cream from the Man far better value

True, if it produces kids they're set for life even if they look like a prune

I got some cream from the doctor for a rash, I'm going to put it in tiny pots and call it Blackpool Sea Front, £350 a pot

 

[Wack61]

Reminded me of The Shed At Dulwich where a guy created pictures of food from dishwasher tablets and shaving foam then wrote fake reviews on trip advisor getting it to No 1 with hundreds of people trying to make bookings at his micro restaurant which turned out to be his garden shed and microwave meals ,he set it up for one night, they were led there blindfolded

The best restaurant in London? You literally can't get a table

A make-believe restaurant serving pretend food to imaginary customers for fake reviews… What Tripadvisor reviews tell us about the way we live, by Eva Wiseman

www.theguardian.com

 

[midlifecrisis]

Cream from the Sea.
Cream from the Man far better value

Without going into too much detail, one of the usual 'crewroom magazines' - Bizarre, i think it was, had an article that had a middle aged 'lady' that would agree with you.