Terrible Jokes Thread

[MarkMas]

Yes indeed. I wonder if the comma should have been a semi colon.

Also I fixed the crappy croping.

View attachment 120937

Or maybe a semi colon and an em dash.

Janet decided she owned the world's worst thesaurus; not only was it terrible — it was terrible.

 

[Felonious Crud]

Yes indeed. I wonder if the comma should have been a semi colon.

Also I fixed the crappy croping.

View attachment 120937

Does a good thesaurus give you a semi, Mark?

 

[MarkMas]

Does a good thesaurus give you a semi, Mark?

Bystanders are discombobulated by my tumescent protruberance.

 

[CatmanV2]

Yes indeed. I wonder if the comma should have been a semi colon.

Also I fixed the crappy croping.

View attachment 120937

Never fail to disappoint

C

 

[MarkMas]

Does a good thesaurus give you a semi, Mark?

And now I am reminded of the finest pair of definitions in the finest book in the history of comedy, "The Meaning of Liff".

Stibb (STIB) n. An unwelcome poke in the ribs by someone who hardly knows you. “Mr Robert Maxwell stibbed Her Royal Highness repeatedly with his huby (q.v.).”

Huby (HEW-bee) n. A half erection large enough to be a publicly embarrassing bulge in the trousers, but not large enough to be of any use to anybody.

 

[CatmanV2]

And now I am reminded of the finest pair of definitions in the finest book in the history of comedy, "The Meaning of Liff".

Stibb (STIB) n. An unwelcome poke in the ribs by someone who hardly knows you. “Mr Robert Maxwell stibbed Her Royal Highness repeatedly with his huby (q.v.).”

Huby (HEW-bee) n. A half erection large enough to be a publicly embarrassing bulge in the trousers, but not large enough to be of any use to anybody.

Oundle: The sound made by a hubcap coming off a car and rolling to a stop.

C

 

[philw696]

Oundle: The sound made by a hubcap coming off a car and rolling to a stop.

C

Thought you would be too young to remember such a thing Chris but I can.

 

[CatmanV2]

Thought you would be too young to remember such a thing Chris but I can.

There is a link....

The other one I recall is Cairo: (Something like) The gait adopted by amateur dramatists when playing Richard III

C

 

[philw696]

There is a link....

The other one I recall is Cairo: (Something like) The gait adopted by amateur dramatists when playing Richard III

C

Lost me totally now feel like BoJo in a Cobra meeting

 

[Phil H]

Lost me totally now feel like BoJo in a Cobra meeting

Cabinet Office Briefing Room A, or Carrie's Old BRA?

 

[Ebenezer]

That reminds me of a terrible joke where the punch line was Takeoff Zebra Baby
Eb

 

[MarkMas]

There is a link....

The other one I recall is Cairo: (Something like) The gait adopted by amateur dramatists when playing Richard III

C

The Meaning of Liff - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[CatmanV2]

The Meaning of Liff - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Yes. I had a copy

C

 

[Scaf]

Yes indeed. I wonder if the comma should have been a semi colon.

Also I fixed the crappy croping.

View attachment 120937

I use the fact that I am dyslexic as an excuse for not understanding the subtleties of these jokes

 

[spkennyuk]

A boring fact-checker writes....

View attachment 120932


Colne

Colon you mean

 

[Ebenezer]

Yes indeed. I wonder if the comma should have been a semi colon.

Also I fixed the crappy cropPing.

Oh the glee in pedanticing the pedant!

Fixed that for you

Eb

 

[Phil H]

Oh the glee in pedanticing the pedant!

Fixed that for you

Eb

 

[Flint]

Oh the glee in pedanticing the pedant!

Fixed that for you

Eb

What, no full stops ?

 

[Ebenezer]

What, no full stops ?

Arghhh!

A space between word and punctuation?

Eb

 

[MarkMas]

Yes indeed. I wonder if the comma should have been a semi colon.

Also I fixed the crappy croping.

Oh the glee in pedanticing the pedant!

Fixed that for you

Eb

Ah. Finally! It's been a day and a half, guys!