Terrible Jokes Thread

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[Wack61]

I'm sure there's a watch thread but this definitely fits in here , that's hideous

 

[CatmanV2]

I'm sure there's a watch thread but this definitely fits in here , that's hideous

View attachment 120971

There is, and that is!

C

 

[DLax69]

 

[Nibby]

 

[Nibby]

 

[philw696]

View attachment 120973

And just like that he's back

 

[CatmanV2]

been teaching my dog to fetch tools from my workshop…
He's not perfect, but he knows the drill

C

 

[doodlebug]

Some chap in the pub was trying to sell me a rare antique conker.
I thought I’m not falling for that old chestnut.

 

[Ebenezer]

What do you call and angry French ant?

Un croissant!

Eb

 

[Ewan]

My wife has been applying glue to my 12 bores.
She denies it.
But I’m sticking to my guns.

 

[midlifecrisis]

 

[happydaze]

Procaffination meaning:-

"To keep putting off having a coffee"...

 

[MarkMas]

As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...
As one door closes, another one opens...



Oh darn it! Now I feel sick, and I need a new Toblerone advent calendar for December.

 

[2b1ask1]

At almost 60, I consider myself lucky to still be having sex nearly every day:








Saturday, I nearly had sex, Sunday I nearly had sex, Monday I nearly had sex.......

 

[philw696]

 

[zagatoes30]

View attachment 121088

You can move on to fitting Duvet covers now

 

[midlifecrisis]

You can move on to fitting Duvet covers now

Try and do that without looking like a ghost...

 

[Ewan]

Bed making. A basic skill we learned at prep school by the age of what, 7?

 

[DLax69]

Bed making. A basic skill we learned at prep school by the age of what, 7?

...er, do what, now?