Terrible Jokes Thread

[Scaf]

My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side …………
So I went out and scraped the alloy wheels of my car

 

[Wattie]

I placed an advert on marketplace saying I was looking for a small mig welder.
Someone sent me this back.

 

[Flint]

My mother-in-law thinks I'm a bit effeminate.

Mind you, in comparison to her, I am !

 

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[HenrysDad]

View attachment 108965

C

Father Ted Crilly explained this to Dougal. Did you not pay attention?

 

[CatmanV2]

Father Ted Crilly explained this to Dougal. Did you not pay attention?

Oh! Is it far away?

C

 

[HenrysDad]

Oh! Is it far away?

C

Duh yess! Well done Dougal. Now lets work on the Virgin birth shall we?

 

[Mavster]

View attachment 108870

Very wrong in many ways

 

[Nibby]

Bono's not been feeling very well lately but he's relieved that he's only got bad catarrh.
"Well tonight thank God it's phlegm instead of flu"

 

[Wattie]

Finally, the proof we all needed!

 

[philw696]

 

[CatmanV2]

Not a joke. Not terrible, but makes me happy nonetheless. And no, I've not fact checked it. Just leave me in ignorance!



C

 

[Oneball]

Not a joke. Not terrible, but makes me happy nonetheless. And no, I've not fact checked it. Just leave me in ignorance!

View attachment 109038

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Im sure Richard O’Brien sold the rights to the film (possibly a mistake!) so could well be true as Disney did buy 20th Century Fox (not Fox the Public Enlightenment and Propaganda organisation)

 

[CatmanV2]

Im sure Richard O’Brien sold the rights to the film (possibly a mistake!) so could well be true as Disney did buy 20th Century Fox (not Fox the Public Enlightenment and Propaganda organisation)

Whatever. I love the film, and have been to a stage show. In full 'dress'

C

 

[philw696]

 

[CatmanV2]

View attachment 109045

From what I've heard they're going to have a hard time breaking anything

C

 

[Wattie]

Picked up an Ed Sheeran album today.

 

[Mavster]

Whats the difference between a Rhino and Solicitor ?

Solicitors charge more !

 

[Mavster]

A Policeman is out patrolling at night in the countryside

He looks down a sidetrack and he sees something odd. He decides to go and investigate.

He walks down the track and shines a flashlight, he sees a man shagging a pumpkin. !

"Why are you shagging that pumpkin ?" Asks the officer

"Is it Midnight already ?!" Came the reply.

 

[CatmanV2]

A Policeman is out patrolling at night in the countryside

He looks down a sidetrack and he sees something odd. He decides to go and investigate.

He walks down the track and shines a flashlight, he sees a man shagging a pumpkin. !

"Why are you shagging that pumpkin ?" Asks the officer

"Is it Midnight already ?!" Came the reply.

Why would he be shagging a coach!?

C