Terrible Jokes Thread

[midlifecrisis]

I know quite a lot of joes about retired people.
But none of them work.

I know a lot of jokes about scousers...

 

[daverichardson]

Scholars researching how Northampton got its name (I kid you not) have a new theory based on Saxon and Viking conflicts in the past and that Norse is Scandinavian for North.
It seems Nogbad the bad was the big cheese until Ethelfred came along and did battle.
The conflict ebbed to and fro until finally Ethelfred ousted and killed said Nogbad so claiming the fledgling township. Eager to impress his damsels Ethelfred took his sword and held it aloft proclaiming
'I have the Hampton of a Norse'

 

[Gransport Devon]

Scholars researching how Northampton got its name (I kid you not) have a new theory based on Saxon and Viking conflicts in the past and that Norse is Scandinavian for North.
It seems Nogbad the bad was the big cheese until Ethelfred came along and did battle.
The conflict ebbed to and fro until finally Ethelfred ousted and killed said Nogbad so claiming the fledgling township. Eager to impress his damsels Ethelfred took his sword and held it aloft proclaiming
'I have the Hampton of a Norse'

What about Southampton?

 

[2b1ask1]

Sarson with a west county accent?

 

[mowlas]

 

[midlifecrisis]

This epitomises this thread.

 

[MarkMas]

This epitomises this thread.
View attachment 106376

And a Schrodinger's apostrophe as well!

Phillip's Head


Phillips Head

 

[MarkMas]

Photographs from NASA's DART mission to hit asteroid Dimorphos

 

[mowlas]

And a Schrodinger's apostrophe as well!

Phillip's Head
View attachment 106385

Phillips Head

View attachment 106384

Right on queue...

 

[midlifecrisis]

And a Schrodinger's apostrophe as well!

Phillip's Head
View attachment 106385

Phillips Head

View attachment 106384

Phillips the company invented it so maybe Phillips' Head

 

[zagatoes30]

 

[Dman666]

Do you think I'm treading on @Dman666 s toes?

yep lol

 

[CatmanV2]

Before we get to Movember, if anyone wants to sponsor me to eat triangular Swiss chocolate next month, I’m doing Octoblerone

C

 

[CatmanV2]

It's amazing that the amount of bad news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper

 

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[Chiveroni]

Photographs from NASA's DART mission to hit asteroid Dimorphos

View attachment 106386

That is just so funny and right up my street. Some people are in the wrong job.....

 

[DLax69]

That is just so funny and right up my street. Some people are in the wrong job.....

Officer, no one saw me. You can't prove anything. I want my lawyer.

 

[Chiveroni]

Extreme weight saving to increase performance....

 

[mowlas]

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

 

[mowlas]

A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No it doesn't."