Terrible Jokes Thread

[mowlas]

A recent groundbreaking study by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and one test icle

 

[happydaze]

That's mean...

 

[outrun]

(you have to say this one out loud)

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna 1
Anna 2

Sorry if it's been posted before. I'm easy to amuse!

 

[MarkMas]

OK, so you may suffer from chronic insomnia, but at least it's only three more sleeps until Christmas Day.

 

[philw696]

View attachment 106109

it's amazing what quality you can buy on fbook marketplace

I saw someone put some old carpet underlay up recently mate.

 

[midlifecrisis]

I saw someone put some old carpet underlay up recently mate.

And people want it.

 

[philw696]

 

[midlifecrisis]

 

[CatmanV2]

Some bloke tried to sell me a sat nav for £150.
I told him to get lost

C

 

[mowlas]

What was Beethoven’s fifth favourite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaaaa!

 

[daverichardson]

Past oral
That must be 6th

 

[HenrysDad]

Wasn’t number 3 “the Erotica”?

 

[DLax69]

View attachment 105897

Still not me!
C

...helps with the cornering, believe me!

 

[DLax69]

View attachment 105963


C

Lies! Absolutely no one here says "queue"...

 

[happydaze]

Not so! Join the queue way over there (far queue)...

 

[CatmanV2]

Lies! Absolutely no one here says "queue"...

Yep, I learned to speak some American when I was working over there. Let me see if I remember...

'Hey, y'all. The lines at Disney are out of here'
Brits: 'Hold my biscuit'

Is that right?

C

 

[MarkMas]

Lies! Absolutely no one here says "queue"...

Except President Obama when reading a script given to him by David Cameron. The thing about Brexit is that.... [This part of the post has been removed by the moderators]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2016/04/23/queue-obamas-use-of-british-english-makes-brits-suspicious/

 

[philw696]

Coming towards the end of September and the drawing in……..

 

[Felonious Crud]

Coming towards the end of September and the drawing in……..View attachment 106197

And there was me thinking that those are the knights that say 'ni!'

 

[CatmanV2]

And there was me thinking that those are the knights that say 'ni!'

As did I!
C