Terrible Jokes Thread

[Wack61]

 

[Wack61]

 

[mowlas]

Reading an article in the Times today about research questioning whether a good sense of humour is an attractive quality when dating women.

Well, all I can say is that I’ve had several successful marriages based on my great sense of humour.

 

[philw696]

 

[philw696]

 

[midlifecrisis]

Did you know that the films titanic and sixth sense are the same?

Icy dead people...

 

[MarkMas]

Any dog can be a guide dog; if you don't care where you are going.

 

[philw696]

Sunny Uplands

 

[MarkMas]

I told my doctor that I kept rolling over in my sleep and falling out of bed.

He gave me a simple solution.

A prescription for Viagra.

 

[philw696]

 

[philw696]

@CatmanV2
Chris thoughts please as this is not my speciality ?

 

[CatmanV2]

@CatmanV2
Chris thoughts please as this is not my speciality ?View attachment 120299

Looks legit to me! I'm planning on changing the battery in Mrs C's Giulietta next weekend. Any fireballs are neither bombardment from space, nor some kind of nuclear incident



C

P.S. *******

 

[CatmanV2]

I think we may have done this:




C

 

[highlander]

Ever seen cows playing hide and seek in the trees?...........No?. neither have I...........





they are bloody good at it arn't they!!!.....

 

[Wack61]

 

[MarkMas]

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet. When suddenly a Eurofighter Typhoon appears alongside!
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus, and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio: "Hey, Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Watch this!"
He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks: "Well, how was that?"
The Airbus pilot answers: "Very impressive, but watch this!"
The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, "Well, how was that?"
Confused, the jet pilot asks, "What did you do?"
The Airbus pilot laughs and says: "I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a pastry."
The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seem great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.

 

[philw696]

 

[philw696]

 

[philw696]

 

[zagatoes30]