Terrible Jokes Thread

[CatmanV2]

thought of the day:
is eating wood good for your pallet?

C

 

[Vampyrebat]

thought of the day:
is eating wood good for your pallet?

C

Funny that!......We have a pallet for growing things to eat!

 

[P5Nij]

thought of the day:
is eating wood good for your pallet?

C

I don't know, but I'm sure Edward Woodward would, if indeed he could. Wouldn't he...?

 

[CatmanV2]

I don't know, but I'm sure Edward Woodward would, if indeed he could. Wouldn't he...?

Maybe!

C

 

[spkennyuk]

I don't know, but I'm sure Edward Woodward would, if indeed he could. Wouldn't he...?

Its a good job Edward WoodWard had so many D's in his name otherwise he would have been called Ewar Woowar !

 

[CatmanV2]

Its a good job Edward WoodWard had so many D's in his name otherwise he would have been called Ewar Woowar !

One of my favourite jokes

C

 

[P5Nij]

Beware Ewar Woowar and his SIII Jag...

 

[philw696]

Beware Ewar Woowar and his SIII Jag...

View attachment 120460

View attachment 120461

Just got back from Paris in the X300 can't praise this car enough best €3,000 I've spent on a car yet.

 

[spkennyuk]

thought of the day:
is eating wood good for your pallet?

C

Your bark-ing up the wrong tree.

 

[Wack61]

 

[MarkMas]

If you wear a falconry glove to the park and frantically look around the sky, everyone with a small dog will leave.

 

[MarkMas]

I started carrying a knife after a horrible attempted mugging a few years ago.
Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

 

[zagatoes30]

That reminds me of my favourite Emo Philips joke

The chance of there being a bomb on a plane is 1 in a million.
The chance of their being 2 bombs on a plane is 1 in 25 million

So, I always take a bomb with me when I fly

Boom, Boom

 

[midlifecrisis]

That reminds me of my favourite Emo Philips joke

The chance of there being a bomb on a plane is 1 in a million.
The chance of their being 2 bombs on a plane is 1 in 25 million

So, I always take a bomb with me when I fly

Boom, Boom

Which reminds me..

A man driving his car along a country lane on a cold wet day sees a pedestrian and offers him a lift. The pedestrian accepts and get in. He thanks the man and asks if he feels he's taking a risk giving a stranger a lift, 'I could be an axe murderer or something' he states. The driver replies 'well what's the chances of there being 2 axe murderers in one car'

 

[CatmanV2]

I started carrying a knife after a horrible attempted mugging a few years ago.
Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.

I mean that really shouldn't be funny!

C

 

[Wack61]

I can relate

 

[Flint]

In all my life, I've never used "essential oils".

So, how essential are they ?

 

[CatmanV2]

View attachment 120526
I can relate

NEVER!

C

 

[Tallman]

 

[midlifecrisis]

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar...
It was tense...