Terrible Jokes Thread

[lozcb]

How do you make a small fortune out of motor racing?

Start with a large fortune.

Mate of mine who was quite wealthy and getting married for the third time to a page 3 model ,when asked whether he was sure he was doing the right thing as his previous failures had cost him dearly , replied jokingly the way I look at it , half a lot still leaves a lot .............it lasted less than six months

 

[Andyk]

AndyK is boosting his post count again, as if he really needs too

I have been neglecting the forum for a while so time to get more involved again

 

[Andyk]

I have been neglecting the forum for a while so time to get more involved again

And I had a wake up call when someone mentioned Mr C was catching me.

 

[spkennyuk]

AndyK is boosting his post count again, as if he really needs too

12 jokes in a row from AndyK. I think he just got round to opening the Christmas crackers.

 

[DLax69]

 

[Wack61]

 

[DLax69]

 

[MarkMas]

A T-Rex and a velociraptor were in a bar, trying to get a drink. But a triceratops got served before them. The velociraptor said, "Why is he first to get served?" And the T-Rex said, "Because he was herbivorous."

 

[Wack61]

Mate of mine who was quite wealthy and getting married for the third time to a page 3 model ,when asked whether he was sure he was doing the right thing as his previous failures had cost him dearly , replied jokingly the way I look at it , half a lot still leaves a lot .............it lasted less than six months

I don't understand why wealthy people feel the need to marry them, page 3 girl dates rich old codger, it's not difficult to pick out which word attracted her

 

[RodTungsten]

Mrs Merton: “So Debbie, what first attracted you to the millionaire, Paul Daniels?” From the much missed Caroline Aherne.

 

[lozcb]

I don't understand why wealthy people feel the need to marry them, page 3 girl dates rich old codger, it's not difficult to pick out which word attracted her

She wasn,t that young , maybe I should of said ex page 3 girl , also ex Jim Davison girlfriend/Michael Douglas girlfriend so one might say she had done the rounds lol , which is why the question was asked lol

 

[mowlas]

 

[Flint]

A battery and a pair of jump leads walk into a bar.

The barman says: You two can get out. Every time you come in here, you try to start something.

 

[lozcb]

Mrs Merton: “So Debbie, what first attracted you to the millionaire, Paul Daniels?” From the much missed Caroline Aherne.

And she eventually copped the lot ...........and that lovely house on the Thames

 

[DLax69]

 

[Nibby]

 

[CatmanV2]

I slipped in the library.. I was in the non friction section

C

 

[mowlas]

View attachment 112236

… or just a sneaky way of getting into an impenetrable box.

 

[CatmanV2]

This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight and a bishop…
I must have a chess infection

C

 

[mowlas]

This morning I coughed up a pawn, a knight and a bishop…
I must have a chess infection

C

I’d get that checked mate