Terrible Jokes Thread

[happydaze]

Considered watching the Bambi movie, until I saw how much it cost!

I thought it was a little deer...

 

[Andyk]

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?​

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

 

[Andyk]

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?​

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

[Andyk]

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”​

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

 

[Andyk]

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?​

Because they make up everything.

 

[Andyk]

Why did the chicken go to the séance?​

To get to the other side.

 

[Andyk]

Where are average things manufactured?​

The satisfactory.

 

[Andyk]

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?​

A nervous wreck.

 

[Andyk]

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?​

In case she needed to draw blood.

 

[Andyk]

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?​

“Curses! Foil again!”

 

[Andyk]

How does Moses make tea?​

He brews.

 

[Andyk]

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?​

A receding hare-line.

 

[Andyk]

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?​

This tastes a little funny.

 

[zagatoes30]

AndyK is boosting his post count again, as if he really needs too

 

[zagatoes30]

My wife and kids are leaving me because of my obsession with Formula 1.

It's lights out and away they go!

 

[zagatoes30]

What is a cat’s favorite racing game?

Gran Purrismo.

 

[zagatoes30]

How do you make a small fortune out of motor racing?

Start with a large fortune.

 

[zagatoes30]

Why do F1 drivers always have bad relationships?

They always try to finish first.

 

[Wack61]

 

[happydaze]

Tesla driver...