St. Bins Day?

[zagatoes30]

Oh Lord of the Bin thy monks are in mischievous mood today, normally they collect at the height of the sun but today the little monkeys collected at sunrise, luckily just as I was putting out our offering

 

[Oishi]

And once again, without regard to the whims of man, or the pestilence that ravages the land, the seasons have turned. And the mighty Oak, and the spindly Pine doth drop their leaves and needles, and the shrubberies and the vines doth needs trimming so that the yard and meadow about thine abode doth overflow with waste. Ye and thy neighbors put forth many hours with rake and sickle and trimmer, to beat back the bounteous growth of nature and prepare thy pyre for the autumnal sacrifice. And pyres are lit throughout the shire, so that the burning shall continue both night and day for 7 days. But Thy neighbor, Sir Lazy Dolt, doth build his pyre in singular pile, such that it doth touch the sky, yea verily even to the roof top. And the smoke and flames billow forth from his enthusiasm, such that it attracts the attention of those other monks, the monks of Volunteer Fire Department. And the billowing carries forth a Pox, like unto the clap, such that Thy and thine house suffer rash and blisters and itchings. Yea even unto Thy nether regions. For Thy neighbor, Sir Stupid Dolt, hath once again failed to remove the poisonous ivy from his conflagration. Salutations! and pass the lotion.

 

[CatmanV2]

And once again, without regard to the whims of man, or the pestilence that ravages the land, the seasons have turned. And the mighty Oak, and the spindly Pine doth drop their leaves and needles, and the shrubberies and the vines doth needs trimming so that the yard and meadow about thine abode doth overflow with waste. Ye and thy neighbors put forth many hours with rake and sickle and trimmer, to beat back the bounteous growth of nature and prepare thy pyre for the autumnal sacrifice. And pyres are lit throughout the shire, so that the burning shall continue both night and day for 7 days. But Thy neighbor, Sir Lazy Dolt, doth build his pyre in singular pile, such that it doth touch the sky, yea verily even to the roof top. And the smoke and flames billow forth from his enthusiasm, such that it attracts the attention of those other monks, the monks of Volunteer Fire Department. And the billowing carries forth a Pox, like unto the clap, such that Thy and thine house suffer rash and blisters and itchings. Yea even unto Thy nether regions. For Thy neighbor, Sir Stupid Dolt, hath once again failed to remove the poisonous ivy from his conflagration. Salutations! and pass the lotion.

<doffs cap a marvellous writing>. And may your pestilence pass with ease and your lotions be as a balm of Gilead to your blistered nethers!

C

 

[RSM Masser]

And once again, without regard to the whims of man, or the pestilence that ravages the land, the seasons have turned. And the mighty Oak, and the spindly Pine doth drop their leaves and needles, and the shrubberies and the vines doth needs trimming so that the yard and meadow about thine abode doth overflow with waste. Ye and thy neighbors put forth many hours with rake and sickle and trimmer, to beat back the bounteous growth of nature and prepare thy pyre for the autumnal sacrifice. And pyres are lit throughout the shire, so that the burning shall continue both night and day for 7 days. But Thy neighbor, Sir Lazy Dolt, doth build his pyre in singular pile, such that it doth touch the sky, yea verily even to the roof top. And the smoke and flames billow forth from his enthusiasm, such that it attracts the attention of those other monks, the monks of Volunteer Fire Department. And the billowing carries forth a Pox, like unto the clap, such that Thy and thine house suffer rash and blisters and itchings. Yea even unto Thy nether regions. For Thy neighbor, Sir Stupid Dolt, hath once again failed to remove the poisonous ivy from his conflagration. Salutations! and pass the lotion.

Love it!
Lucky it’s not a Horse Hair blanket on the pyre
Itchings of nether regions aside - assault on ones nasal passage would kill you

 

[CatmanV2]

Blessed am I this day, for as I stepped out on a morning peregrination I was greeted by the sight of many of the Monks of St Bin as they diligently performed their stations around the demesne where I do reside.

First were those that ride the chariot of food waste. Noisome indeed, it was this day. The stench of such pungency as to cause Charles M. Schultz to add waving lines and dots in its wake. Yea, verily it was wont to make one gag and retch as if being compelled to watch an episode of 'Strictly come dancing where Dan Walker and Naga Munchetti were partners'

Next the juggernaut of general waste. This announces its presence by the discordant clashing and grinding as it performs its role. Such a racket as to make Joshua and his Israelites set down their trumpets and clasp their hands over their ears in despair! The monks of this wagon perform their duty with much relish, hurling the unfortunate refuse into the ever hungry maw where there is much wailing and grinding of teeth.

Finally the followers of the garden waste. A different breed entirely, carefully taking the clippings and offcuts of the diligent horticulturists of the area and placing them with reverence in their collection vehicle. From thence they will never be seen again, except as the mysterious 'soil improver' the scent of which, compared to the stench of the food wagon, is like unto the lillies that bloom in the valley.

C

 

[Felonious Crud]

Blessed am I this day, for as I stepped out on a morning peregrination I was greeted by the sight of many of the Monks of St Bin as they diligently performed their stations around the demesne where I do reside.

First were those that ride the chariot of food waste. Noisome indeed, it was this day. The stench of such pungency as to cause Charles M. Schultz to add waving lines and dots in its wake. Yea, verily it was wont to make one gag and retch as if being compelled to watch an episode of 'Strictly come dancing where Dan Walker and Naga Munchetti were partners'

Next the juggernaut of general waste. This announces its presence by the discordant clashing and grinding as it performs its role. Such a racket as to make Joshua and his Israelites set down their trumpets and clasp their hands over their ears in despair! The monks of this wagon perform their duty with much relish, hurling the unfortunate refuse into the ever hungry maw where there is much wailing and grinding of teeth.

Finally the followers of the garden waste. A different breed entirely, carefully taking the clippings and offcuts of the diligent horticulturists of the area and placing them with reverence in their collection vehicle. From thence they will never be seen again, except as the mysterious 'soil improver' the scent of which, compared to the stench of the food wagon, is like unto the lillies that bloom in the valley.

C

Bloom in the valley? Blooming loony, more like.

 

[midlifecrisis]

Too much time on his hands...

But impressive, three collections on one day, you don't want to forget that.

 

[RSM Masser]

Woe is me, for today my offerings of food to the great monks of St Bin hath been refused.
Is it the rotting stench of week old prawns that have caused this oversight or perhaps by missing 1 in 3 offerings the dark monks who flit around at night can be back in their flea bitten hovels before sunrise.
I have penned an ode to the Bin Masters at the mighty castle who control the monks, sadly little response, however they will repay my allegiance by charging more for these services

 

[CatmanV2]

Woe is me, for today my offerings of food to the great monks of St Bin hath been refused.
Is it the rotting stench of week old prawns that have caused this oversight or perhaps by missing 1 in 3 offerings the dark monks who flit around at night can be back in their flea bitten hovels before sunrise.
I have penned an ode to the Bin Masters at the mighty castle who control the monks, sadly little response, however they will repay my allegiance by charging more for these services

A plague be upon your house!

C

 

[Markc]

Lo, let it be told the parable of the wretched and sneaky neighbours for thine witness with thine own eyes the meagre offerings of the box that ist black and contain wine, mead and full strength lager and the bin of blue lid which in these parishes be for thy recycling of everything but the bottle. I walked the early morning lands at the time of the filthy monks and the wagon of stench and St Bin himself struck me dumb as one of my neighbour’s blue bin twas emptied unto the beast and heaven crashed all about for it was full to the brim of empty offerings whilst the box that be black be empty to avoid the judgement of all. Yet still the sneaky winos will be judged until the wife doth proclaim “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. The cheeky wench.

 

[zagatoes30]

St Bins day, only 4 more to Christmas best start thinking about the additional offering that is mandatory at this time of year if you want to avoid the Monks spreading your offering all down the driveway and across the road to shame you in front of your neighbours

 

[RSM Masser]

St Bins day, only 4 more to Christmas best start thinking about the additional offering that is mandatory at this time of year if you want to avoid the Monks spreading your offering all down the driveway and across the road to shame you in front of your neighbours

Nah
My neighbours are old and not able to consume the vast quAntity of illicit spirit
To ease the burden of my indulgence I fill their casket of offerings with the empty receptacles of my indulgence so as not to leave them demoralised

 

[CatmanV2]

Nah
My neighbours are old and not able to consume the vast quAntity of illicit spirit
To ease the burden of my indulgence I fill their casket of offerings with the empty receptacles of my indulgence so as not to leave them demoralised

It is a worthy duty you complete. Surely you will be admitted entry to the great re-cycling plant

C

 

[zagatoes30]

Nah
My neighbours are old and not able to consume the vast quAntity of illicit spirit
To ease the burden of my indulgence I fill their casket of offerings with the empty receptacles of my indulgence so as not to leave them demoralised

Doust is indeed a caring neighbour, thy path to glory is only blocked by thy desire to indulge in spirits of a different world

 

[Markc]

It is a worthy duty you complete. Surely you will be admitted entry to the great re-cycling plant

Or damned to forever toil the pestilence and foul stench of the unholy land-fill. May St Bin judge you worthy!

 

[zagatoes30]

Oh Lord of the Bin on thy day of thy offerings we, your humble servant, has left the additional offering expected at this time of year - the little white envelope containing our gratitude that thou andst thine Monks have not shared our offerings across the countenance of our driveway during the previous 4 seasons, We doust hope this continues and that the Monks and thyself rejoice in the normal way with a drop of the black stuff or even the stronger spirit from these parts the Whiskey with the extra E

 

[MrPea]

What have I done to offend St. Bin???

He collected all but mine on Monday, and dispite pleading to the Abbey of South Oxfordshire District Council and being assured that my petitions have once more been hear and that he would return by Tuesday lunch time, I had to grovel once more. This time the Lady of The Order of SODC assured me she would formally intercede for me by reporting an "officially missed bin" and that St. Bin would return for my offerings forthwith, he is still yet to come, and my offering is lying dormant on the roadside.

 

[Markc]

What have I done to offend St. Bin???

He collected all but mine on Monday, and dispite pleading to the Abbey of South Oxfordshire District Council and being assured that my petitions have once more been hear and that he would return by Tuesday lunch time, I had to grovel once more. This time the Lady of The Order of SODC assured me she would formally intercede for me by reporting an "officially missed bin" and that St. Bin would return for my offerings forthwith, he is still yet to come, and my offering is lying dormant on the roadside.

Has’t thou sinned? Was the seasonal offering (Monks’ protection racket) missing?

 

[zagatoes30]

What have I done to offend St. Bin???

He collected all but mine on Monday, and dispite pleading to the Abbey of South Oxfordshire District Council and being assured that my petitions have once more been hear and that he would return by Tuesday lunch time, I had to grovel once more. This time the Lady of The Order of SODC assured me she would formally intercede for me by reporting an "officially missed bin" and that St. Bin would return for my offerings forthwith, he is still yet to come, and my offering is lying dormant on the roadside.

Thou is stepping on an uncertain road, St Bin does not look favourable on the officious management scribes telling him what to do

 

[CatmanV2]

Thou is stepping on an uncertain road, St Bin does not look favourable on the officious management scribes telling him what to do

Yea, verily, unless that telling is to stay at home....

C