St. Bins Day?

Markc

Member
Messages
121
Brothers thou shalt not squabble like the fools in the temples as to the day of St. Bin for it has been written that the day shall be variable dependent upon the economic circumstances of the Temple and the type of contract negotiated with the relevant service providers who shall forever be known as incompetent. Lo, remembering also that those days called Mondays that are also the feast day of the money lenders will shunt St. Bin back a day and there shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth when, as often comes to pass, the Monks of St. Bins do not make an apparition at all, having imbibed many a Stella in the tavern the yesternoon.

That might be enough of St. Bin tbh.
 

CatmanV2

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37,083
That might be enough of St. Bin tbh.
Nay! St Bin: He hath smitten me! My offering were rejected. I have been cast into the **** that is the Missed Bin Collection Report where there is much wailing and gnashing of broken glass!

C
 

zagatoes30

Centenary Club
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15,514
Tis day of St Bin but disaster has fallen, the commandment of colour is no more so guidance on the offering of colour is required, it is blue or black, the wrath that cometh should the offering be wrong is great, with said offering will be spread across the county of Wexford in this emerald isle
 

CatmanV2

Member
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37,083
Make all the offerings with humility and prostrate yourself before the Operatives of St Bin (Blessed be their HI-Vis) and if thouest please them, they mayest take the offerings they select according to the schedule. For is it not written 'All bins must be placed on the border of the properly by 0700 on the day of collection'?

C
 
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Scaf

Member
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2,783
Green bin day for us, also two 1ton bags full of hedge clippings for them to take.
Amazing what you can achieve with a crisp £10.00 note !
 

zagatoes30

Centenary Club
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15,514
Didst look at content of offering vessels, the most over floweth has been offered, we sit we with baited breath that the Monks of St Bin will look upon our offerings and express pleasure and acceptance and leave us with a vessel that no longer over floweth
 

Markc

Member
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121
Alas those who are believers in the land of the mighty Spire must prostrate themselves until two days beyond the Sabbath for the Monks of St Bin to arrive in the chariot of the recycling and already the bins doth overflow mightily and darkness falls across the land and it pisseth down for four days and four nights. Lo, and the box known as that of the bottle also overfloweth causing much embarrassment such that neighbours do not face each other over the empties to avoid judgement and accusations of being a p!sshead. And the Monks will be angered by the quantity of the offerings and shall smite each bottle with extreme violence and fearsome noise at dawn making those sinners quake in their beds....
 

zagatoes30

Centenary Club
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15,514
The day of the week have dawned and expectations are high, the people of this abode have searched deeply for offerings of re-use and have diligently placed such offering in the rightful place awaiting the Monks of St Bin coming down in their chariot of stench at a time of their pleasing, for now all is calm
 

Gazcw

Member
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2,499
The day of the week have dawned and expectations are high, the people of this abode have searched deeply for offerings of re-use and have diligently placed such offering in the rightful place awaiting the Monks of St Bin coming down in their chariot of stench at a time of their pleasing, for now all is calm
Yeah. The **** is outside ready be dumped together in one big pile despite the cleaning and sorting.
 

midlifecrisis

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9,873
There was great wailing and grinding of teeth when I missed bin day last week.
It's no as though we offer much to the chariot of stench. It'll get double next week.

He who is first shall be last and all that.
 

Gazcw

Member
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2,499
There was great wailing and grinding of teeth when I missed bin day last week.
It's no as though we offer much to the chariot of stench. It'll get double next week.

He who is first shall be last and all that.
He who art forgets shalt stinketh for four and ten risings of thou ball of fire unto thou offerings will thy be accepted by the gods once more.
 

zagatoes30

Centenary Club
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15,514
Oh Lord of the Bin we do humbly submit our weekly offering and hope that once again you will honour us with the presence of you loyal disciples and their chariot of stench

All hail the mighty St Bin
 
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5,675
And lo as if in a dream last night
St Binns arrived in a vision of siren song and light

Do not fear I have not come to punish or anoint
I am here only to disappoint

Gnashing nor wailing will not alter the mission
We must all learn to brake with tradition

Though I know it will maketh them uncomfy
I will but now only visit bimonthly

Do not think thy tax burden will be less
5 sesterces more are needed at a small guess

Unto the throng then waiting at the gate
All I can say is

Good luck mate.
 

Markc

Member
Messages
121
A letter from St Mark to the Corinthians.
For it was a Tuesday and I slept not; as if in ecstatic reverie I heard the Yuletide carols in the sound of a fcked diff and screaming brakes and jumped to the window to observe the chariot of Stench reverse into the recycling casting asunder the bins known as ‘wheelies’ to a chorus of “Jeff you fckwit” and I did laugh merrily as the Knights of St Bin did then get thine chariot stuck on the road to Damascene. But lo, Corinthians a dark cloud fell over me for after the noon I knew I must pay homage to St Bin at the temple of filth forever known as ‘The Dump’ and with cunning and guile pass off excess recycling as residual waste again; knowing that the Knights will smite all those caught in that act and rain down with fury and much cussing despite themselves being those known as ‘the great unwashed’ and not worthy of shovelling sh!t. I bid ye all well.
 

zagatoes30

Centenary Club
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15,514
Today arriveth the Chariot of Stench, on the thrones of which were seated the Monks who had been given authority to judge thy offering, around them souls of those who had been judged as their offering was considered unworthy as is the word of St Bin. They had not worshiped the beast or its image duly and had not given forth "The Tip" that is due at this time of the season and therefore didst Monks disperse thy rubbish on their driveways and they came to be damned by St Bin for a thousand years.
 
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