Terrible Jokes Thread

G

Gooner

Member
Messages
448
CatmanV2 said:
Mostly talking about call centre people

C
Click to expand...

If there is one company guaranteed to mess up AI, it’s BT. In reality I bet they end up taking on more call centre people in the long run (many of whom hold that company together with a patchwork of post-it notes and hand written guides to help them get things done), just to cope with the mess they make of AI.

Instead they will let go the expensively trained network engineers and technicians who have been rolling out their fibre network. They will also tell their outsourced companies to reduce their assigned headcount and charges, but still do the same amount of work.

Finally they will put aside a few billion restructuring charge in the accounts, but won’t spend all of it, instead releasing it back into the accounts in 3 years time just in time to boost the profits and give the management team an LTIP payout.

Just a wild guess…
 
CatmanV2

CatmanV2

Member
Messages
48,955
Gooner said:
If there is one company guaranteed to mess up AI, it’s BT. In reality I bet they end up taking on more call centre people in the long run (many of whom hold that company together with a patchwork of post-it notes and hand written guides to help them get things done), just to cope with the mess they make of AI.

Instead they will let go the expensively trained network engineers and technicians who have been rolling out their fibre network. They will also tell their outsourced companies to reduce their assigned headcount and charges, but still do the same amount of work.

Finally they will put aside a few billion restructuring charge in the accounts, but won’t spend all of it, instead releasing it back into the accounts in 3 years time just in time to boost the profits and give the management team an LTIP payout.

Just a wild guess…
Click to expand...

I have no reason to disagree, just commenting based on what was on R4 this morning.

And their expensively trained engineers leave a *LOT* to be desired in my recent, and not so recent experience. No offence to anyone (other than the engineers that have made my life harder by rampaging incompetence, of course)

C
 
CatmanV2

CatmanV2

Member
Messages
48,955
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown
ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for
their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries
and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's
yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the
order. "That will Be $9.40 please" The man
reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come
again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries
and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and
pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again.
"The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No, this is
Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato
and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the
ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order
and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again
the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket
and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any
longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to
always come up with the exact change in your
pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was
cleaning the attic and Found an old lamp. When
I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me
two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had
to pay for anything, I would just put my hand
in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people
would ask for a Million Dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as
long as you live!"
"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a
Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,"
says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second
wish was for a tall chick with a big *** and long
legs who agrees with everything I say.."

C
 
DLax69

DLax69

Member
Messages
4,362
CatmanV2 said:
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown
ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for
their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries
and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's
yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the
order. "That will Be $9.40 please" The man
reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact
change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come
again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries
and a coke."
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and
pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again.
"The usual?" Asks the waitress. "No, this is
Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato
and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the
ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order
and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again
the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket
and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any
longer. "Excuse me, Sir. How do you manage to
always come up with the exact change in your
pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was
cleaning the attic and Found an old lamp. When
I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me
two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had
to pay for anything, I would just put my hand
in my pocket and the right amount of money
would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people
would ask for a Million Dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as
long as you live!"
"That's right..Whether it's a gallon of milk or a
Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,"
says the man.
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second
wish was for a tall chick with a big *** and long
legs who agrees with everything I say.."

C
Click to expand...
1684698618747.jpeg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.