Terrible Jokes Thread

happydaze

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Messages

588

• Mar 2, 2023

• #3,221

Considered watching the Bambi movie, until I saw how much it cost!

I thought it was a little deer...

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,222

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?​

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,223

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?​

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,224

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”​

“Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.”

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,225

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?​

Because they make up everything.

 

Andyk

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Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,226

Why did the chicken go to the séance?​

To get to the other side.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,227

Where are average things manufactured?​

The satisfactory.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,228

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?​

A nervous wreck.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,229

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?​

In case she needed to draw blood.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,230

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?​

“Curses! Foil again!”

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,231

How does Moses make tea?​

He brews.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,232

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?​

A receding hare-line.

 

Andyk

Member

Messages

61,402

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,233

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?​

This tastes a little funny.

 

zagatoes30

Member

Messages

21,101

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,234

AndyK is boosting his post count again, as if he really needs too

 

zagatoes30

Member

Messages

21,101

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,235

My wife and kids are leaving me because of my obsession with Formula 1.

It's lights out and away they go!

 

zagatoes30

Member

Messages

21,101

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,236

What is a cat’s favorite racing game?

Gran Purrismo.

 

zagatoes30

Member

Messages

21,101

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,237

How do you make a small fortune out of motor racing?

Start with a large fortune.

 

zagatoes30

Member

Messages

21,101

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,238

Why do F1 drivers always have bad relationships?

They always try to finish first.

 

Last edited: Mar 3, 2023

Wack61

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Messages

8,829

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,239

 

happydaze

Member

Messages

588

• Mar 3, 2023

• #3,240

Tesla driver...