The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman:
And she was somewhat upset. "You are a disrespectful pig!" She cried. "How dare you do this to me? A faithful wife, the mother of your children. I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!"
And the husband replied. "Hang on just a minute, so at least I can tell you what happened?"
"Fine, go ahead. "She sobbed. "But they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began. "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down
and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She
told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the expensive designer jeans that you bought a couple years back, but don't wear because you say they
not the "in" name this year. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same." The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said.
"Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
