Terrible Jokes Thread

[CatmanV2]

Not a terrible joke, but an ad I think is great!

C

 

[Andyk]

Is it me or is Kate Moss advertise COKE and bit weird…

 

[DLax69]

View attachment 113288View attachment 113289Is it me or is Kate Moss advertise COKE and bit weird…

Weird. Diet Coke is also Weird.

 

[lozcb]

View attachment 113288View attachment 113289Is it me or is Kate Moss advertise COKE and bit weird…

Better than Daniella Westbrooke

 

[DLax69]

 

[jasst]

I ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place last night (I won't name them), placed it on the kitchen work top and as I was getting plates, I heard the bags rustling and moving!! I thought what the **** is that?! Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was so scared as the bag was moving around, I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the floor, frying pan in one hand and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...
And there it was ....
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.

... A Peeking Duck!!!!!!!!

I know, I'll get my coat

 

[Flint]

I went to complain at my local Chinese the other day.
I said: this chicken is rubbery.
They said: ah, thank you velly much.

(I'll probably get cancelled now ! )

 

[CatmanV2]

I’ve started a support group for people who’ve been ripped off by locksmiths. If you need me my door is always open....

C

 

[CatmanV2]

Sorry about my earlier joke about oil. It was a bit crude…
I'll make sure they're more refined in the future

C

 

[happydaze]

Sorry about my earlier joke about oil. It was a bit crude…
I'll make sure they're more refined in the future

C

That's a *******...

 

[happydaze]

What's wrong with 'cr*cker' with an 'a' ?

 

[Zep]

What's wrong with 'cr*cker' with an 'a' ?

The joy of American swear filters. I’d change it but it’s amusing….

 

[zagatoes30]

What do you call two octopuses that look the same?

I-Tentacle

 

[DLax69]

 

[zagatoes30]

The urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is only just a whim away.

 

[Brendan]

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You're too small to smoke.

 

[DLax69]

 

[mowlas]

Sorry about my earlier joke about oil. It was a bit crude…
I'll make sure they're more refined in the future

C

Any more jokes like this in the pipeline?

 

[CatmanV2]

Any more jokes like this in the pipeline?

I can have a crack....

C

 

[Felonious Crud]

I can have a crack....

C

Terrible. I swear this thread has been rigged.