Terrible Jokes Thread

[HenrysDad]

A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her top pocket and thinks: Some a**hole has my pen.​

View attachment 123500

The major thing that you don’t do is to touch your face with the finger

 

[joered]

The major thing that you don’t do is to touch your face with the finger

Then just hope thats not the same pen!

 

[Wack61]

 

[HenrysDad]

Then just hope thats not the same pen!
View attachment 123502

It's a sort of piquant salty flavour. Coprophagia is good for intestinal biome balance. (So I'm told).

 

[joered]

It's a sort of piquant salty flavour. Coprophagia is good for intestinal biome balance. (So I'm told).

Yes thanks all the same if I have gut dysbiosis i will stick to green tea or Yogurt!

 

[HenrysDad]

Yes thanks all the same if I have gut dysbiosis i will stick to green tea or Yogurt!

So would I. But one has to cater for all tastes.

 

[midlifecrisis]

Some council toss pot has installed a huge speed bump at the end of my road...

I'm slowly getting over it...

 

[philw696]

 

[CatmanV2]

View attachment 123512

Just round the corner, and, actually, a really interesting place to visit

C

 

[philw696]

 

[Phil H]

From a Rightmove property listing:

XXXX are delighted to bring to market this three bedroom mid terrace house located within close proximity of the City Centre. This property compromise of a kitchen/diner,on the fist floor there a three bedrooms one with an ensuite to master, a living room and a family bathroom.

Family Bathroom
Bah with overhead shower, W/C, wash hand basin, Frosted window to rear

Great for someone who fancies a shower with ewe.....

 

[Flint]

From a Rightmove property listing:

XXXX are delighted to bring to market this three bedroom mid terrace house located within close proximity of the City Centre. This property compromise of a kitchen/diner,on the fist floor there a three bedrooms one with an ensuite to master, a living room and a family bathroom.

Family Bathroom
Bah with overhead shower, W/C, wash hand basin, Frosted window to rear

Great for someone who fancies a shower with ewe.....

And a floor dedicated to fisting ..........

 

[HenrysDad]

View attachment 123516

There is a museum of the penis in Reykjavik, apparently it isn't as big as advertised.

 

[joered]

There is a museum of the penis in Reykjavik, apparently it isn't as big as advertised.

Seemingly there was a balls up at the entrance, because the directional sign would not stand erect

 

[joered]

An Elephant went into a bar and asked the barman; “Has my brother been in?” Barman - “ I don’t know. What does he look like?”

 

[Nibby]

 

[Wack61]

I wonder if AI picks the books to advertise on Facebook

 

[spkennyuk]

There is a museum of the penis in Reykjavik, apparently it isn't as big as advertised.

It does get very busy so your advised to come early !

Its the only time you should !

 

[philw696]

 

[Wack61]