Terrible Jokes Thread

Every day a known “Bad ‘Un” would leave work pushing a wheel barrow with it’s contents covered by a big cloth. The security guard on the gate was sure he was stealing and everyday he would stop said Bad ‘Un to check what was under the cover and everyday the contents were found to be legit, his rucksack with empty lunch box, scrap paper he was taking to recycling etc. etc..

This went on every day, every week and it was driving the security guard mad. Eventually other work colleagues complained to the management about the guards over zealous nature and eventually he was sacked.

But the stealing still played on the guards mind, he couldn’t think of anything else and eventually it drove him to drink and he would always be found in the roughest pub in town drinking heavily.

One day the said Bad Un came into the Pub and the guard could take it no more, he faced up to the Bad Un and said I know you were staling but I just don’t know what or how but for my sanity please tell me?

The Bad Un, just smiled, learned over and whispered into the guards ear

“I was stealing Wheel Barrows”
 
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A man goes to the cinema and was surprised to find a woman with a Labrador sitting in front of him. He was shocked that the dog always laughed in the right places through the film.

At the end of the film he asked her "Excuse me, but I think it's amazing that your dog enjoyed the movie."

"I am surprised myself, " she replied. "He hated the book
 
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