Terrible Jokes Thread

CatmanV2

Member
Messages
49,147
Not quite a terrible joke, but I am sure that many of us can relate ;)

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C
 

Tallman

Member
Messages
1,883
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
 

zagatoes30

Member
Messages
21,316
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so
I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,
and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
Excellent logic, discuss this with your wife and I am sure you will get another kick in the nuts
 

Nibby

Member
Messages
2,195
Thankfully we don't have much of that look in France.
The police are more interested if you did 35 in a 30 here, report a burglary and they’re not interested.
There was a member of the police on one of these videos on Facebook explaining that it’s illegal to use your phone in a drive-thru McDonald’s. I thought ffs is that all you’ve got to worry about. I fully understand on the main road is a no-no but in the McDonald’s drive-thru queue, give the youngsters a break ffs.