Got these on email - sort of sums it all up - mind you I would NEVER allow the wife to read them
Sacha Guitry: When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Hemant Joshi: After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Socrates: By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Dumas: Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Sigmund Freud: The great question... which I have not been able to answer...is, "What does a woman want?
Anonymous: I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Henny Youngman: "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Sam Kinison: "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
James Holt McGavran: "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Patrick Murray: "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Nash: Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1) Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2) Whenever you're right, shut up!!
Henny Youngman: You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Rodney Dangerfield: My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Milton Berle: A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Anonymous: The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous: Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous: A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous: First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."