Love this joke......hope you do too..Happy New year....:)

Parisien

Parisien

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'Joke' ....Gloves & Knickers?

A Young man named Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend named Maggie. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long but she lived quite a distance away in up in Scotland. He consulted with his sister and decided after careful consideration that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic of course and not too personal.
Off he went with his sister to Harrod's and they selected a dainty pair
of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself in Harrod's at the same time.
Harrod's had a free gift wrap offer on at the time but, the assistant accidentally mixed up the two presents. His sister mistakenly got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers.
Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter:

Dear Maggie,

I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove).
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact, she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.

All my love, Chris. x x x

P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down
with a little bit of fur showing.




P
 
philw696

philw696

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25,530
Brilliant where did you find that?
Or is it one of your own pieces of work?
Happy New Year.
Phil.
 
Parisien

Parisien

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Heard it a year ago from a mate...had forgotten about it....he reminded me of it.......:)


P
 
Andyk

Andyk

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61,172
Just read it again and laughted just as much...All time classic there Frank...
 
Contigo

Contigo

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Nice joke that lol

I like this one, it's a bit old but neverless very funny.

"Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise"s door, and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What"s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave"s boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise"s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave say"s, "Old buddies, let"s fly out to Washington and off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let"s have a cup of coffee first and catch up." Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss replies. "Sure!" says Dave. "I"ve known the Pope for years." So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican"s St. Peter"s Square when Dave says, "This will never work. I can"t catch the Pope"s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I"ll come out on the balcony with the Pope." He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss" side, Dave asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw ... you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the **** is that on the balcony with Dave?""
 
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