Double entendres

Andyk

Member
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61,364
12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her ****** this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'
 
G

Guest 1678

Guest
Andy - I did giggle, particularly the weatherman. Remember one on test match special with England v the West Indies:

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"
 

toomanyhorses

New Member
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721
Son and I just went to get a chinese, placed a big order, but between each one, the lady kept saying "f'in else?"

Then we sat down and started reading this thread on my phone, we were having a chuckle to ourselves when the lady appeared holding up a white bag and said "weadyyy...." then pointed at me and said, "not you, you go' a big one"
Son and I cracked up. (Very immature)

When we left, I swear she said, "fuk you vewy much"
 

toomanyhorses

New Member
Messages
721
oh, and on the way back; we took the Mas, we caught a slow coach up, I said, "oh well, just as well, there's a lot of black ice about"
"eh??" my son said, so I repeated myself.
He said, "was wondering what you were on about, thought you said 'just as well, there's a lot of black guys about'...
 

dem maser

Moderator
Messages
34,275
Just shown this to my dad, he ****** himself laughing.....

He said it reminded him off when he knew "a blind optician" & started to laugh
 

dem maser

Moderator
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34,275
Said in the 60s there was one the opticians below his flat....dont know what hes on bout, laughs everytime he thinks of him....
 

Andyk

Member
Messages
61,364
That is very funny Dem......How the **** could he be an optician.........He would have had great glasses sales due to telling everyone they needed glasses.