A few politically incorrect.

[Andyk]

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its
considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man

its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
_________________________________________________________________________

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife.
Bound to end in tears though - she's **** at snooker.
_________________________________________________________________________

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she
fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then.


God, I love my new Taser!
_________________________________________________________________________
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from
tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam.
_________________________________________________________________________

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if
I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3
months is going to shift this beer belly.
___________________________________________________

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream
and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
____________________________________________________

News flashes:
1. Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or
screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths
have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.


4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my
interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

 

[Felonious Crud]

Haha! Spot on, Andy, thank you - the perfect antedote to a challenging afternoon.

 

[JDM]

made me smile!, especially the Ikea one. very funny

 

[Andyk]

I liked that one as well JDM...

 

[Parisien]

Not sure about the IKEA one.........Alex.....might take it very....very....badly........


P

 

[Andyk]

;-.............Hope not..No offence meant in any of them.........