Terrible Jokes Thread

[Felonious Crud]

View attachment 126264

Fixed. Now it's funny and doesn't just effing grate.

 

[joered]

Fixed. Now it's funny and doesn't just effing grate.

View attachment 126265

Actually our Car Show at Bridge of Allan on the 12th of May (Entries for classic cars are now full with over 800 cars and 47 club stands) I have been looking with some trepidation as to the weather, however if this long range BBC forecast is correct, I would be well pleased.

 

[philw696]

 

[Nibby]

 

[philw696]

View attachment 126300

Need @CatmanV2 to advise on this one could be dangerous.

 

[CatmanV2]

Need @CatmanV2 to advise on this one could be dangerous.

It'll be fine!

C

 

[midlifecrisis]

A man tattooed a £50 note on his pen1s. His wife asked him why he did such a ridiculous thing. He said
1. I like to see my money grow
2. I like to play with my money
3. I like having my money in my hand
but best of all, the next time you want to blow fifty quid you can do it at home...

 

[philw696]

I'm fed up of comments from people ridiculing EVs. They don't know what they're talking about.
Personally, I drive two top of the range EVs, a Jaguar and a Porsche.
Their acceleration and handling is fantastic. They look brilliant and they're really cheap to run. They need hardly any maintenance and haven't depreciated since I bought them.
Literally the only criticism I could make of them is sometimes, if I really push them into a corner, they can fly off the track and get stuck under the sofa....

 

[happydaze]

Could be you're a leadfinger...

 

[zagatoes30]

Could be you're a leadfinger...

or you need magnets fitting or adjusting

 

[MarkMas]

Fixed. Now it's funny and doesn't just effing grate.

View attachment 126265

That's great that it no longer grates!

 

[Andyk]

 

[philw696]

Jackie “Why does the ice cream man go so slow? “
Jimmy “Because he’s a Sundae driver? “

 

[philw696]

 

[mowlas]

A man tattooed a £50 note on his pen1s. His wife asked him why he did such a ridiculous thing. He said
1. I like to see my money grow
2. I like to play with my money
3. I like having my money in my hand
but best of all, the next time you want to blow fifty quid you can do it at home...

It’s ironic that in this case, inflation works against him.

 

[zagatoes30]

View attachment 126352

Two teenage girls here, this is not unusual but fortunately they have their own bathrooms

 

[MarkMas]

 

[mowlas]

I had to go to the doctor yesterday with a sore @rse. I bent over so the doctor could see and he told me that there was a lettuce leaf. I replied ‘doc, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.’

 

[CatmanV2]

I'm trying to organise a hide-and-seek tournament...
But good players are really hard to find!

C

 

[philw696]