St. Bins Day?

[Burf22]

I loaded my cart to make a special pilgrimage to the shrine that is the dump. Only to find that it is closed on Thursdays from October to March to great wailing and gnashing of teeth. I will have to unload and go again next week.

You have my sincere sympathy, Brother Midlife. I suffered a similar misfortune during the Age of Lockdown when our local shrine shut unexpectedly under the weight of floral offerings, generously given by local brethren, who in those times daily tended their land. My cart was but two from the entrance when the monks shut the gates - to much wailing, gnashing of teeth and language of such blue hue that even St Bins would struggle to absolve. Twas a dark day.

 

[DLax69]

In our environs one is now required to reserve a time at which one may make ones offerings at the cathedral.....

C

And how dost one go about procuring said rendezvouz with redemption? Doth the white smoke emanating from ****'s own blast furnace augur that a choice has been made, and the hour of the coming is nigh...?

 

[RodTungsten]

And how dost one go about procuring said rendezvouz with redemption? Doth the white smoke emanating from ****'s own blast furnace augur that a choice has been made, and the hour of the coming is nigh...?

The Holy Father through his Curia in Wiltshire hath issued to me a Papal Bull which admits my journeyman cart to the Marlborough enclave.

 

[CatmanV2]

The Holy Father through his Curia in Wiltshire hath issued to me a Papal Bull which admits my journeyman cart to the Marlborough enclave.

This is the way.

And yea! Those unbelievers in the next county can be prevented from contaminating our holiness with their offerings, even though they live a mere 500m from the gates. Rejoice! For now they must trek right mightily across the county yea even unto 15 miles!

(I'm not actually making this up. Herts are banning Essex residents from making appointments. One of the largest centres is *500m* from the county border. The next closest is about 15 miles.....)

C

 

[Ebenezer]

This is the way.

And yea! Those unbelievers in the next county can be prevented from contaminating our holiness with their offerings, even though they live a mere 500m from the gates. Rejoice! For now they must trek right mightily across the county yea even unto 15 miles!

(I'm not actually making this up. Herts are banning Essex residents from making appointments. One of the largest centres is *500m* from the county border. The next closest is about 15 miles.....)

C

Verily it is the same, here in Reading too.
Eb

 

[DLax69]

Forsooth!

 

[MarkMas]

 

[Felonious Crud]

Forgive me father for I have sinned. It's been three weeks since I put my bins out and I don't think I'll put it out next week My offerings were paltry and I haven't generated much sh!t recently.

Your last sentence is disproved by your first.

 

[RSM Masser]

How I have fallen on hard times, coffers ravaged by the relentless demands of light, power and heat.
My chariot remains horseless and unable to move, with a darkened heart and weary hand I strap leather to my bare soles and trudge through the enchanted forest with a heavy load of offerings to the Cathedral.
“What sorcery is this?” Demand the guards “Thou shalt not enter without a chariot!”

No amount of hand wringing, gnashing of teeth or grovelling for forgiveness would appease the guards who stood deadfast in defiance

“Desist” they scream “you are unworthy”

I beg to the enlightened few, each with shiny chariots, but none would take pity on my impoverished carcass. I have not the strength to return to my hovel, my bag of offerings remains at the gates for the guards to clear or be ripped to shreds by hounds of the night (foxes)

The local tip won’t let you walk in with a bag of rubbish
Despite a marked footpath

 

[Felonious Crud]

How I have fallen on hard times, coffers ravaged by the relentless demands of light, power and heat.
My chariot remains horseless and unable to move, with a darkened heart and weary hand I strap leather to my bare soles and trudge through the enchanted forest with a heavy load of offerings to the Cathedral.
“What sorcery is this?” Demand the guards “Thou shalt not enter without a chariot!”

No amount of hand wringing, gnashing of teeth or grovelling for forgiveness would appease the guards who stood deadfast in defiance

“Desist” they scream “you are unworthy”

I beg to the enlightened few, each with shiny chariots, but none would take pity on my impoverished carcass. I have not the strength to return to my hovel, my bag of offerings remains at the gates for the guards to clear or be ripped to shreds by hounds of the night (foxes)

The local tip won’t let you walk in with a bag of rubbish
Despite a marked footpath

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of bins,
I will fear no evil,
For You are with me,
Your wheely-bin and Your dustcart, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my vegetable peelings,
You anoint my head with bin-juice,
My bin runneth over.
Surely stench and filth shall follow me
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the landfill of the council
Forever.

 

[midlifecrisis]

My bin has fallen over...


That's all, continue with your lives....

 

[zagatoes30]

St Bins day

Oh Lord of the Bin I bow to your excellence and pray that previous offerings have satisfied you but today I doest ask for an act of forgiveness. A recent pilgrimage to the dark lord of Sweden has led to an abundance of paper based packing and I doest humbly request that your Monks will greet this additional offering in a positive way. I beseech you to accept this offering which of course will be rewarded with a more financial offering at the appropriate time.

 

[Ebenezer]

My bin has fallen over...
View attachment 112826

That's all, continue with your lives....

Or was it pushed...?

Eb

 

[midlifecrisis]

Or was it pushed...?

Eb

By the wind...so yes.

 

[DLax69]

Yesterday was St. Bins. I returned to the house first, to find said bin lying in my yard. OK, fine. Then I noticed that the offerings had not been accepted in full, and some were so heartily rejected that they were in the drainage ditch and had to be retrieved in shame. The monks have progressively gotten more judgmental and punitive...and I am not even reassigning their students...the Abbott shall be contacted today, and if the prayers are not well enough received, we may have to go to the Costello, as well.

 

[zagatoes30]

St Bins day

Oh Lord of the Bin I bow to your excellence and pray that previous offerings have satisfied you but today I doest ask for an act of forgiveness. A recent pilgrimage to the dark lord of Sweden has led to an abundance of paper based packing and I doest humbly request that your Monks will greet this additional offering in a positive way. I beseech you to accept this offering which of course will be rewarded with a more financial offering at the appropriate time.

The Monks heard my plea and accepted the additional offering, even that which was outside the prescribed offering vessel - happy days, let the world rejoice

 

[DLax69]

Update: the Abbess dispatched the Overmonks, who giveth new bin whilst takingeth away the old, cracked, and full one. Verily, we art no longer forsooth nor laden with rubbish.

 

[Burf22]

In honour of 100 years of Le Mans, on St Bin's Eve.

 

[zagatoes30]

In honour of 100 years of Le Mans, on St Bin's Eve. View attachment 115547

Do they walk or run across the road?

 

[Burf22]

Do they walk or run across the road?

The monks work at pace in this parish - so we're anticipating a sprint to the bins!