Last year on the way back from Italy on the bikes we stopped for an overnight in Germany. The hotel was new, very posh and had 3 pools. A hot spa, a swirl and a regular with lanes. Louise was gagging for a dip, so while I unloaded the bikes she went for a splash. I intended to bimble down and meet her in half an hour. I could see the first pool but not Lou, so I thought she must be in the next pool or the outside hot spa…..but how on earth do you get there ? Can't really walk through the first pool area fully clothed and with shoes on, must be an outside walkway……….maybe it's this door here and go thro'……. I get to the end of the corridor and a big signs says ALARMED FIRE DOOR DO NOT OPEN. Perhaps I shouldn't go out this way then. Best I go back in. Not so lucky…..the door I had entered didn't have a handle on my side…. then, through the glass, I noticed a paper sign stuck on the outside (I hadn't noticed it going in), which read;
“.edisni eht morf snepo ylno rood sihTâ€
Bu**er! Trapped! Now do I open the fire door cause a panic and get rescued or shall I wait till Lou goes by on her way back to the room ? Little did I know that while I was down the other end of the corridor that she'd passed the entrance. So I waited. There must be CCTV monitoring the place, I'll wave and jump up and down in front of the camera………someone is bound to notice me. No cameras. There's a balcony bar above the far end I'll attract some attention from the people up there. They were all sat round the other side in the sun. It's getting a bit hot and stuffy by now. Best I wait by the entrance. No-one. Perhaps another 30 minutes passed before 2 giant whales, in hotel robes, waddle by and I bang furiously on the door. They were blanked by what they saw. I waved the hotel key at them and eventually they let me in. I muttered something about being locked in………they said nothing so I ran away. I went through the pool area to see if Lou was there and got a bollicking for walking round the pool in outside shoes. I was taken to one side and given a big pair of blue elasticated polythene bag overshoes to wear. No Lou, so best I go back to the room. When I got back to the room Lou was perplexed….Where've you been !!! What are those things on your feet !!! Locked in the corridor I said. Apparently she'd gone into the spa which was like a hot volcanic spring and found it so hot that she got out and jumped into the swirl pool. Unknown to her that's what it was…….she was dragged in the current round and round and round and round unable to get out. She'd wondered what all the small bays were for, around the rim and why all the other guest were sheltering in the bays. As she passed (all nonchalant) she said oh this is fun isn't it…………not a titter from anyone. She managed to drift outwards and hurriedly got out and scarpered in a panic back to the room while I was stuck in the corridor. What a laugh we had.
Further on we stayed in Stuttgart, for a few days. Needed some cash so went along to a “hole in the wallâ€â€¦.mmmmmmm wouldn't give me any cash. Wander round and find another…………still no cash. That's really strange, sometimes if the satellite link is down there can be a temporary problem. Try again later. This time the machine says “confiscating your card†in German, ‘corse being fluent in nothing means I don't understand anything so I cancel the transaction but my card is retained. Double bu**er. Get back to the hotel and the 2 girlies on the desk are chattering away in some bizarre language. Turns out they are Estonian but they are fluent in English, German etc etc etc. She phones the bank and they recover the card – it's been shredded. Seems that I'd used the wrong PIN 3 times and so it automatically (in Germany) trashes it. (we had changed the cards and PINs because of recent thefts). Being a bit of a wassuck I'd used the wrong PIN. No problem Lou has her card………oh no she doesn't ! Phone up the UK office and register the lost card. Their advice is to “pop along to the nearest branch of Nationwide and they will arrange for a replacement card to be sent to youâ€. Do you know where Stuttgart is I asked……where's it near she says ? It's in the middle of Germany and we have to catch the ferry in 2 days time, there's a hotel bill to pay, we need fuel to get back and we have no cash….blank silence. After some further calls to Visa we managed to raise our credit card limit enough to pay the bills and get back. It was hard work passing their security test, mothers maiden name was easy, the maiden name of Henry VIII sixth wife was a synch, the 3rd king of the Chang dynasty was a little more difficult but I was beaten on the Latin name of an African Swallow that can carry a coconut !!!! What a wassuck I am. Still we managed to ride again
“.edisni eht morf snepo ylno rood sihTâ€
Bu**er! Trapped! Now do I open the fire door cause a panic and get rescued or shall I wait till Lou goes by on her way back to the room ? Little did I know that while I was down the other end of the corridor that she'd passed the entrance. So I waited. There must be CCTV monitoring the place, I'll wave and jump up and down in front of the camera………someone is bound to notice me. No cameras. There's a balcony bar above the far end I'll attract some attention from the people up there. They were all sat round the other side in the sun. It's getting a bit hot and stuffy by now. Best I wait by the entrance. No-one. Perhaps another 30 minutes passed before 2 giant whales, in hotel robes, waddle by and I bang furiously on the door. They were blanked by what they saw. I waved the hotel key at them and eventually they let me in. I muttered something about being locked in………they said nothing so I ran away. I went through the pool area to see if Lou was there and got a bollicking for walking round the pool in outside shoes. I was taken to one side and given a big pair of blue elasticated polythene bag overshoes to wear. No Lou, so best I go back to the room. When I got back to the room Lou was perplexed….Where've you been !!! What are those things on your feet !!! Locked in the corridor I said. Apparently she'd gone into the spa which was like a hot volcanic spring and found it so hot that she got out and jumped into the swirl pool. Unknown to her that's what it was…….she was dragged in the current round and round and round and round unable to get out. She'd wondered what all the small bays were for, around the rim and why all the other guest were sheltering in the bays. As she passed (all nonchalant) she said oh this is fun isn't it…………not a titter from anyone. She managed to drift outwards and hurriedly got out and scarpered in a panic back to the room while I was stuck in the corridor. What a laugh we had.
Further on we stayed in Stuttgart, for a few days. Needed some cash so went along to a “hole in the wallâ€â€¦.mmmmmmm wouldn't give me any cash. Wander round and find another…………still no cash. That's really strange, sometimes if the satellite link is down there can be a temporary problem. Try again later. This time the machine says “confiscating your card†in German, ‘corse being fluent in nothing means I don't understand anything so I cancel the transaction but my card is retained. Double bu**er. Get back to the hotel and the 2 girlies on the desk are chattering away in some bizarre language. Turns out they are Estonian but they are fluent in English, German etc etc etc. She phones the bank and they recover the card – it's been shredded. Seems that I'd used the wrong PIN 3 times and so it automatically (in Germany) trashes it. (we had changed the cards and PINs because of recent thefts). Being a bit of a wassuck I'd used the wrong PIN. No problem Lou has her card………oh no she doesn't ! Phone up the UK office and register the lost card. Their advice is to “pop along to the nearest branch of Nationwide and they will arrange for a replacement card to be sent to youâ€. Do you know where Stuttgart is I asked……where's it near she says ? It's in the middle of Germany and we have to catch the ferry in 2 days time, there's a hotel bill to pay, we need fuel to get back and we have no cash….blank silence. After some further calls to Visa we managed to raise our credit card limit enough to pay the bills and get back. It was hard work passing their security test, mothers maiden name was easy, the maiden name of Henry VIII sixth wife was a synch, the 3rd king of the Chang dynasty was a little more difficult but I was beaten on the Latin name of an African Swallow that can carry a coconut !!!! What a wassuck I am. Still we managed to ride again
