Hi Need Help

[lozcb]

Hi, My name is Loz, OH here goes , and im a Masserholic Phew that was the hardest thing ive ever had to say i'm middle aged, and desperately addicted, Ive lost all my friends, ive spent most of my money on Maserati's spend days on end in deep depression just staring out the window onto the drive aimlessly, Things have got so low and bad now that ive become deformed with the widest smirking grin from ear to ear and it just, wont go away, this is my last chance saloon ive seen the best doctors , had years of therapy with maserati forum and nothing has worked , a few people who i hold in high esteem have directed me here, they have likened it to the Betty Ford clinic for Maseratists. Can you help me

regards Loz

 

[Parisien]

As in every journey Loz.....................the first step is the most important one.

You've now taken that first step by admitting your addiction.

Obviously your years as a member spent in the maserati forum environment have failed utterly in dealing with your addiction. As happens in life, addicts, frequently search around for another form of therapy and indeed a second opinion.

At the start of your treatment its best to do a full Maseratisti assessment and make a correct diagnosis, without this ANY treatment is pointless and indeed may actually damage you further.

So, at Maseratisports you've at last arrived amongst true friends, those who understand you best, appreciate you for what you are, won't judge you undually and have your genuine interests at heart.....NOT putting commercial or other spurious interests to the fore to the detriment of real Maserati addicts.

The bad news is................

THERE IS NO CURE.......................................only many further years of addiction, craving, bizarre behaviour, outlaying huge amounts of money to feed your addiction, squandering your childrens inheritance to pay for your addiction.......the down side is endless...................sorry.

PS We can however treat your deformed smile.....................................or rather your 4200 car can.......by letting you down ever so slightly so your permanent smile fades momentarily....but soon comes back!!!!!!











P

 

[conaero]

Loz, you truly are a nut, but my sort of nut!

 

[lozcb]

Positive news guys , there is some hope then , and im not a total lost cause , Phew , had me worried and in a panic for a brief moment , thought the synopsis was going to be sell sell sell and dont drive for a month or two huge relief, So what your saying Frank is dont fight it or fix it enjoy it mmmmmmmmmm i'll tell the missus the good news

regards loz

 

[conaero]

Dear Loz

Upon reading your diagnosis it is true what nurse Parisien (in short dress, fishnets, 3 inch heals etc) says. All I can offer is our continued support upon Sportsmaserati.com where you will be cared for to our best ability.

The only other alternative course of treatment to aid you ailment, is to visit Dr Urbanmasers back street garage clinic where I have been told he administers colonic treatments with the use of Selina and EP90 Gear oil.


Dr Dogleg

 

[Parisien]

Dear Loz

Upon reading your diagnosis it is true what nurse Parisien (in short dress, fishnets, 3 inch heals etc) says. All I can offer is our continued support upon Sportsmaserati.com where you will be cared for to our best ability.

Dr Dogleg

Excuse me??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am usually mistaken for a Doctor.......................

Plus I never wear 3 inch heals at work.........................




Only 4 inch ones.......................and then only for special patients........



P

 

[speedy40]

Hello new member with a 3200 manual (formally Conaero's) which is great fun although Im not getting enough use of it at the moment looking forward to what this website can offer

S40

 

[conaero]

Hey Speedy, and welcome, great to have you on board.

I trust the 3200 is treating you well.

 

[urbanmaser]

Loz hi.

First of all let me begin by saying that all is not lost......... I am one of the world's leading experts on Maserhollicism and happy to tell you there is a cure which is guaranteed to work.

Begin by getting a heavy hammer, place your left foot on the floor after first removing your shoe and sock, raise the hammer above your head and bring it down smartly on your big toe. I swear to you that Maseratis will be the last thing on your mind Can you please let me have your address for forwarding my fees whcih unfortunately are not covered by the National Health

 

[Peter]

I have the perfect cure, buy a Maserati from a certain dealer based in Sevenoaks, the experience will put you off Maserati's. You will no longer smile, instead you will look depressed. Job done.

 

[Predator]

Dude, I don't get it. What's the problem? You sound normal to me.... Oh, now I see the problem!

John

 

[lozcb]

Half the bloody problem John it all becomes toooooooooooooo normal if you let it , Filled the car up today at the local gas station , rare occasion i had a pocket full of cash , and duly handed over the £89.00 , guy next to me was paying for his a newish Fiat 500 smart little thing he handed over £28 then he just grinned at me and said that says it all , Pulled off the forcourt behind him with the sport button on and then let rip guess who had the widest grin as we pulled up at the next round about

regards loz

 

[urbanmaser]

Loz you are beyond help..... a hopeless case

 

[Team GCR]

Hi, My name is Loz, OH here goes , and im a Masserholic Phew that was the hardest thing ive ever had to say i'm middle aged, and desperately addicted, Ive lost all my friends, ive spent most of my money on Maserati's spend days on end in deep depression just staring out the window onto the drive aimlessly, Things have got so low and bad now that ive become deformed with the widest smirking grin from ear to ear and it just, wont go away, this is my last chance saloon ive seen the best doctors , had years of therapy with maserati forum and nothing has worked , a few people who i hold in high esteem have directed me here, they have likened it to the Betty Ford clinic for Maseratists. Can you help me

regards Loz

Ahhh but Loz it could be SO much worse there are far worse addictions and I afraid I fear I suffer from the worst of the lot! I am a Racerholic.......... I too have lost all my friends, spent most if not all my money, etc etc but worst of all my addiction forces you to get up at stupidly early times of the morning to drive horrid old vans towing a recalcitrant trailer all to stand on a wall on an old disused airfield (usually) and often in freezing conditions, watching someone else drive your car to the point of destruction whilst you stand there timing them willing them to actually drive faster. The highs are so high one friend described our first podium as like the birth of his first child, the lows so low they also, like you, end in the deepest depression........

It makes my Masserholicism pale into insignificance.............................

Any cures for either of these afflictions will be gratefully received.

Robin

 

[lozcb]

What can i say Robin , you have actually cheered me up, in fact right now i feel positively cured certainly willing to commiserate over a pint sometime during the next low , maybe at the next northampton crowd meet lets keep in touch we can do a buddy recovery programme

regards loz

 

[lozcb]

Well that cheer up frpm Robin was short lived This morning thought i would give the GG a quick clean in prep for saturday seeing as Friday i gotta work Not a happy bunny seems some of the micro blister have come back on the rear wing and drivers door handle and arranged to put it in for next week , seems the severe cold/snow we had a few days ago has started them off again got the pain in the *** decision now what to do , had a specialist look at who tested the paint thickness and its up to the limit , i can see an expensive problem looming for my bodyshop/paint manufacturer, the specialist is writing me a report of what he reckons should be the procedure and course of action from now on frustrating the rest of the paint is mint AT THE MOMENT just dont want to be dreading cleaning the car everytime there's a cold spell to see its crept up somewhere else ooohh i need a fix now

regards loz

 

[nfm]

Really sorry to hear that Loz, I hope you get it sorted to your satisfaction. Tiny comfort, I know, but at least you have another Maser to fall back on if you are parted.

You will recall I pm'd you a while ago about a quote for my paint. Sorted now but noticed the other day when washing there is the tiniest touch of primer overspray on the drivers door, nothing more than a few miniscule drops. Any suggestions on the best way of taking it off without affecting the paint below - I am wary of using the dreaded t cut, especially on metallic.

Cheers

 

[Team GCR]

Sorry to hear that too Loz, sounds like you have someone sorted to fix it, if not can give you a couple of pointers from excellent people in the Midlands to the guy who is doing the Bora (he gets cars shipped from over the world to restore/repaint and his cars have won major concours at Pebble Beach etc.,..) and he is not as expensive as you might think.

Regards,

Robin

 

[markp4200]

Hah,
just had to pop it's head above the parapet!
It's a cure which works quite well but is not infallible.
Peter, your dose of that particular ailment was, unfortunately fatal, but some people have had very severe doses but which were severe but from which we recovered.
However I sympathise with you profoundly and hope that in your reincarnation you may live happily without catching it. My guess is that you will never succumb to that particular strain again.

 

[nfm]

Loz

Please ignore my request (and apologies for jumping your thread), spoke to the paint guy today and he has agreed to come from Edinburgh to the West coast to sort it first hand - can't say fairer than that.