At the early stage of a relationship with a girlfriend I took her as pillion to Belgium. In the square at Hondschoote we had coffee and cake. Now, etiquette may dictate that it's not good to guff so early in a friendship. But she did admit to this later in our relationship. I went in to pay the bill, she scanned the tables and convinced there was no-one around let rip all that pent up gas. I was unaware of the auspuf but as she got up to leave a voice from behind called out “aurevois†and was overcome with embarrassement.
I later shared an office with a champion guffer. While the thunderous noise was very entertaining the aroma of digested Guinness could be overpowering. The office was joined by another who was determined to steal the guffer crown but had so far failed miserably, until this day. He cried out, yes I've got it, the crown is mine. No-one was permitted to leave the room in case they should miss the event. He grimaced, no not there yet, but it's coming. He stood up and went round the desk with his back to the door. Gripping the edge of the desk and grimacing he strained and strained some more yes,yes yes………with perfect timing a young girly from data processing came in with a query just as he won the guffer crown. He was totally unaware of the surprised and embarrassed witness who slid back out and closed the door. The others in the office were hit by uncontrollable laughter which he just couldn't understand. He was mortified when we told him who'd heard his award winning trump.
I had the misfortune to commute 100 miles each way, everyday for 5 years usually by motorbike. I used to leave by 5am and get to the office by about 6:30. The open plan office had movement sensors to activate the lights. I was always first in and would drop my gear and go for a shower, fill a cafetiere and sit at my desk until the other started arrive at about 7. The lights would go out if there was no movement for about 10 minutes. The lights went out in the space behind me. I heard a truly massive fart and chuckled…..bet they don't know I'm here. Swinging my chair round the lights were still off and there was no-one to be seen. I began to question whether ghosts can fart !
I later shared an office with a champion guffer. While the thunderous noise was very entertaining the aroma of digested Guinness could be overpowering. The office was joined by another who was determined to steal the guffer crown but had so far failed miserably, until this day. He cried out, yes I've got it, the crown is mine. No-one was permitted to leave the room in case they should miss the event. He grimaced, no not there yet, but it's coming. He stood up and went round the desk with his back to the door. Gripping the edge of the desk and grimacing he strained and strained some more yes,yes yes………with perfect timing a young girly from data processing came in with a query just as he won the guffer crown. He was totally unaware of the surprised and embarrassed witness who slid back out and closed the door. The others in the office were hit by uncontrollable laughter which he just couldn't understand. He was mortified when we told him who'd heard his award winning trump.
I had the misfortune to commute 100 miles each way, everyday for 5 years usually by motorbike. I used to leave by 5am and get to the office by about 6:30. The open plan office had movement sensors to activate the lights. I was always first in and would drop my gear and go for a shower, fill a cafetiere and sit at my desk until the other started arrive at about 7. The lights would go out if there was no movement for about 10 minutes. The lights went out in the space behind me. I heard a truly massive fart and chuckled…..bet they don't know I'm here. Swinging my chair round the lights were still off and there was no-one to be seen. I began to question whether ghosts can fart !
