Wendyball

philw696

Member
Messages
25,333
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus Mcnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"
 

Andyk

Member
Messages
61,106
Sorry I really struggle with this….We have now got a 4 week extension on the rules for COVID and I think when you look at the figures that could go on longer. At a wedding you can not sing or dance and the Father can’t have the 2nd dance with the bride but hey that’s Ok as we can still do this for football….Fecking disgusting.87000
 

Doohickey

Velociraptor
Messages
2,496
Very
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus Mcnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"
Very good although this was originally a joke about Alan Shearer playing Sunderland from about 20 years ago.
 

Wattie

Member
Messages
8,640
Sorry I really struggle with this….We have now got a 4 week extension on the rules for COVID and I think when you look at the figures that could go on longer. At a wedding you can not sing or dance and the Father can’t have the 2nd dance with the bride but hey that’s Ok as we can still do this for football….Fecking disgusting.View attachment 87000
The science says covid doesn’t spread at football games..........
 

Wattie

Member
Messages
8,640
Ah right. I thought there must be a good explanation. That’s OK then….
I’ve spotted a niche in the market.
“Watties Wembley Weddings” will be launched in time for the next England game.....numbers problem removed.
 

Wack61

Member
Messages
8,782
Touring cars and BSB limited to 4000 but 60,000 + in Wembley for the semi finals and final
And how will they be getting there , public transport
 

Andyk

Member
Messages
61,106
Hate the game but come in Italy….

 

spkennyuk

Member
Messages
5,947
I’ve spotted a niche in the market.
“Watties Wembley Weddings” will be launched in time for the next England game.....numbers problem removed.

No singing or dancing allowed at weddings but its ok at a football match.:eek::mad::eek::mad:
 

zagatoes30

Member
Messages
20,876
It is just before Scotland v England in the Euro’s Group game.

Kane goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're rubbish and we can't be bothered".

Kane looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Kane goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Kane 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on.

"Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Kane 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus Mcnasty 89 minutes)".

They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!!

They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them.

"I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down...

I got sent off after 12 minutes"

Old one, first seen as Dennis Law & Georgie Best being the only only past Man Utd team against the then current team, Best left at half time as he had a date with the latest Miss World whilst leading 1-0, when he meet up with Dennis in the bar later the result was 1-0. On questioning why Dennis admitted he got sent off in the 47 minute ;)