Terrible Jokes Thread

[mowlas]

I’m trying to find the right words to ask my wife to clean up after her making breakfast this morning, but instead I’ve been treading on eggshells all day.

 

[Tallman]

Here’s a free personality test for the hetero guys on here - just check when you got together and read off your results.

 

[zagatoes30]

Here’s a free personality test for the hetero guys on here - just check when you got together and read off your results.

View attachment 115202

Now we know why the Pride flag is rainbow coloured, so much easier

 

[DLax69]

 

[philw696]

Good effort at the Suffolk Police stall today to connect with youngsters at the Suffolk Show

 

[MarkMas]

I'm planning to open a new restaurant that combines traditional Scottish hospitality with convivial Japanese social activities.

I'm going to call it FUCKSAKE

 

[DLax69]

 

[DLax69]

 

[2b1ask1]

View attachment 115270

To repeat that old quote (I should refrain): Two nations separated by a common language.

 

[Andyk]

Classic Benidorm.

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19K views, 124 likes, 6 comments, 113 shares, Facebook Reels from Rebecca Crowther: Ahaha beef curtains #benidorm #comedy #funny #funnyvideos #fyp.

www.facebook.com

 

[Andyk]

Phil, is that you ? @philw696 Great to see you back my friend as I have missed you.

 

[philw696]

Phil, is that you ? @philw696 Great to see you back my friend as I have missed you.

Only one of me Andy

 

[Andyk]

Only one of me Andy

I am glad of that Phil as if there was more there would be far too many French cars on the road. But I am genuine when I say it is great to have you back my friend.

 

[lozcb]

Only one of me Andy

Nice one , refreshed I hope

 

[philw696]

Nice one , refreshed I hope

Well and truly with a good tan too.

 

[MarkMas]

I had my first lesson as a trainee airline pilot today.
I said to my instructor, "Gee, I'll never be able to remember what all those buttons are for!"
He replied, "They keep the front of your shirt closed."

Lesson two tomorrow...

 

[DLax69]

 

[DLax69]

 

[Andyk]

 

[Flint]

I think Baby on Board signs are a good idea.

It tells me that the driver, no matter what speed, is very likely to suddenly ignore everything else and turn round to attend to some minor crisis in the back seat.

I give them a wide berth