Terrible Jokes Thread

[MarkMas]

Apparently Hooters is starting a home delivery service called Knockers.

 

[Nibby]

A woman in a pub sneezed and her glass eye fell out and a bloke on the next table caught it. The woman said to the bloke"Thank you for that, d'yer fancy coming back home with me for a S..g? The bloke replies " D'yer say that to any bloke you meet for the first time? She replied "Only if he catches my eye"

 

[midlifecrisis]

 

[Nibby]

I entered the National Housebuilding Competition.
I made the semis.

 

[philw696]

 

[CatmanV2]

My friend had been arrested for stealing hay, but released on bale.

C

 

[mowlas]

My friend had been arrested for stealing hay, but released on bale.

C

I heard the poor farmer wants the book thrown at him as that was the last straw.

 

[MAF260]

My friend had been arrested for stealing hay, but released on bale.

C

Did somebody grass him up?

 

[midlifecrisis]

Did somebody grass him up?

That's the last straw

 

[CatmanV2]

That's the last straw

Too corny. I'll wheat until something better comes along, although from experience, I've gleaned that that might take a while. Still, we reap what we sow, and this may be a bitter harvest. Still best plough on, I guess. Sort the wheat from the chaff, as it were.

C

 

[CatmanV2]

I just googled 'Missing medieval servant' I got a 404 error

C

 

[Wack61]

My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being amazing in bed. Two minutes later, all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.

 

[BL330]

here's another version in circulation a while ago

 

[Nibby]

 

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[Gazcw]

Must have big kahunas to try the second!

 

[happydaze]

Asked a simple question about Skyhook suspension.

I was left hanging...

 

[spkennyuk]

I just googled 'Missing medieval servant' I got a 404 error

C

Surely it said "Page not found"

I know thats what you said in very energetic text format.

 

[CatmanV2]

Surely it said "Page not found"

I know thats what you said in very energetic text format.

I'm a geek! What did you expect. (and probably 'enigmatic'?)

C

 

[Wattie]

Went to the Petrol station today and filled up the Velar.
Just under a $100Aud......instantly I felt sick to my stomach and very faint.
I think I may have car owner virus.