Terrible Jokes Thread

[CatmanV2]

I just came out of the chippy and was attacked by A Flock of Seagulls....

I ran...

Did they have a photograph?

C

 

[Andyk]

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo…. I had to put my foot down.

 

[Andyk]

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger…but then it hit me.

 

[Andyk]

Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions ? I do…

 

[Andyk]

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

 

[Andyk]

My wife just found out I replaced the bed for a trampoline. She hit the ceiling.

 

[Andyk]

I used to think I was indecisive….but now I’m not sure.

 

[Andyk]

Russian dolls….So full of themselves.

 

[Andyk]

Termite walks into a bar and asks….Is the bar tender here.

 

[Andyk]

I’m reading a book about anti gravity….It’s impossible to put it down.

 

[Andyk]

I didn’t think orthopaedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.

 

[Andyk]

It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

 

[Andyk]

I just got kicked out of the secret cooking society. I spilled the beans.

 

[Andyk]

Blunt pencils are really pointless.

 

[Andyk]

6:30 is the best time on the clock, hands down.

 

[Andyk]

2 Wi-Fi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic.

 

[Andyk]

Just got fired from my job as a set designer. I left without making a scene.

 

[Andyk]

If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

 

[Andyk]

A dung beetle walk’s into a bar and asks…Is this stool taken?

 

[Andyk]

Are people born with photographic memories or does it take time to develop?