Terrible Jokes Thread

[Flint]

Not sure about this one:


Dear 2026.

Thank you for the free 10 day on approval trial of your product.

I would like to unsubscribe to whatever the **** it is ............


Worthy or not ?

 

[CatmanV2]

Not sure about this one:


Dear 2026.

Thank you for the free 10 day on approval trial of your product.

I would like to unsubscribe to whatever the **** it is ............


Worthy or not ?

I vote aye!

(TBF better than 2025 so far. Mrs C senior's probate has been approved *same* day. Not sure how my mother's has taken since August so far.....)

C

 

[CatmanV2]

I'm in trouble with my partner again.
I bought some lorry oil for her birthday...
Apparently it's pronounced 'L’Oreal'.

C

 

[CatmanV2]

Some people have said it's impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I think that's not nececelery so!

C

 

[midlifecrisis]

To those who received a book from me for Christmas. Can I have them back as I've got to return them to the library...

 

[MarkMas]

Some people have said it's impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I think that's not nececelery so!

C

I carrot believe you think that's funny.

 

[joered]

I carrot believe you think that's funny.

Lettuce just humour him

 

[CatmanV2]

I carrot believe you think that's funny.

You say potato, I say tomato....

C

 

[CatmanV2]

BREAKING NEWS:
Talks of a merger between the RAC and the AA have broken down

C

 

[Flint]

Some people have said it's impossible to make a pun about vegetables. I think that's not nececelery so!

..
Error (mine)

 

[MarkMas]

There is a maniac in our area, who is going round leaving severed body parts on people's doorsteps.
Gives me the willies.

 

[Flint]

There is a maniac in our area, who is going round leaving severed body parts on people's doorsteps.
Gives me the willies.

Do you need a shoulder to cry on ?

 

[gb-gta]

Do you need a shoulder to cry on ?

A shoulder? I’d give my right arm for that.

 

[Flint]

A shoulder? I’d give my right arm for that.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

 

[Phil H]

Any more jokes like those and you'll be getting the elbow!

 

[gb-gta]

Any more jokes like those and you'll be getting the elbow!

Have you not got the stomach for it?

(We could go on all day like this!)

 

[Phil H]

Have you not got the stomach for it?

(We could go on all day like this!)

Even if I had the stomach, I don't have the heart for it.

 

[happydaze]

Even if I had the stomach, I don't have the heart for it.

Would you like me to give you a hand, then?

 

[Phil H]

Would you like me to give you a hand, then?

So that I can knuckle down and get on with more meaningful stuff?

 

[zagatoes30]

Holding my head in my hands, how long can this go on?