Terrible Jokes Thread

[MarkMas]

Pol

Ahhh.......Remember John Denver!
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Politics poo bin!

 

[midlifecrisis]

My window cleaner has died but it's ok.

I communicate with him using a squeegee board....

 

[philw696]

 

[midlifecrisis]

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Keep going love...

 

[philw696]

Keep going love...

You've got to Love the Northern humour

 

[James3200GTA]

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I'll take the metric side pse. 10 cm sounds better than 4 inches.

 

[happydaze]

100mm sounds even better...

 

[MarkMas]

100mm sounds even better...

I dunno if you want to have someone measuring you in mm.

 

[happydaze]

I dunno if you want to have someone measuring you in mm.

You reckon they may be splitting hairs?

 

[James3200GTA]

I dunno if you want to have someone measuring you in mm.

Currently I would be happy if any lovely lady would measure me. Mmm maybe I'll make a GP appointment on Monday.:p

 

[James3200GTA]

You reckon they may be splitting hairs?

Which hairs: The ones growing on the roof or down in the basement?

 

[happydaze]

Currently I would be happy if any lovely lady would measure me. Mmm maybe I'll make a GP appointment on Monday.:p

You would need to play by the rules...

 

[happydaze]

Which hairs: The ones growing on the roof or down in the basement?

The ones kept near the Family Jewels...

 

[MarkMas]

I got punched in the temple today.

Mind you, I probably shouldn’t have called the rabbi a ****.

 

[MarkMas]

Surely not everybody was Kung-Fu fighting?

153K views · 22K reactions | Dramatic Monologue: Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas | James McNicholas: Songologues

Dramatic Monologue: Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas

www.facebook.com

 

[philw696]

153K views · 22K reactions | Dramatic Monologue: Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas | James McNicholas: Songologues

Dramatic Monologue: Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas

www.facebook.com

Macbeth for Hipsters from the comments

 

[Nibby]

 

[Flint]

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Tell the Police.
Well, it is 'Walking on the Moon'
Yes, I know, boo if you like; but it is supposed to be a terrible joke thread.

 

[zagatoes30]

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That's one **** of a throw from the delivery driver, they normally can clear any hedge, gate, wall or fence but the earths orbit is something else

 

[MarkMas]

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I will do anything to avoid Evri.