Terrible Jokes Thread

[DLax69]

Harsh, chap! Harsh! Been *ages* since I shocked myself, or let any magic smoke out! Moving on!

C

We were just discussing this over coffee, and my magic number was 60. Of course, will need to hit the lottery to manifest that.

 

[CatmanV2]

We were just discussing this over coffee, and my magic number was 60. Of course, will need to hit the lottery to manifest that.

Oh I'm sure 60 will happen... Well I hope so!

C

 

[CatmanV2]

Now onto the electrical systems with Chris now.

C

 

[DLax69]

C

Plus think of the cuts & bruises!

 

[philw696]

Plus think of the cuts & bruises!

He's a Big Boy

 

[trevorrevver]

C

Sack that dog! It's an air-cooled car!

 

[CatmanV2]

He's a Big Boy

Been peeking?

C

 

[CatmanV2]

Sack that dog! It's an air-cooked car!

Being air cooked might be an issue!

C

 

[trevorrevver]

True. Finger trouble now corrected.

 

[MarkMas]

I just had this very weird confrontation in McDonald's.

Me: "One Big Mac without strawberries, please."

McDonald's employee: "Strawberries?"

Me: "FFS, I literally just said, NO STRAWBERRIES! What is wrong with you?"

And then the manager threw me out.

I'm going to Burger King from now on.

 

[philw696]

 

[midlifecrisis]

Not a joke or terrible, but will make many people laugh and Dem triggered.

 

[midlifecrisis]

My mate in the pub told me that he's being having great sex with his girlfriend and her twin, on the side... clearly not together! Although he's not fond of the twin's moustache

 

[CatmanV2]

Don't eat liquorice at bedtime. It makes you dream of all sorts...

C

 

[Tallman]

Don't eat liquorice at bedtime. It makes you dream of all sorts...

C

Note to self - put liquorice on the shopping list

 

[CatmanV2]

I have once again turned my hand to poetry.

If anyone wishes, I will send them my latest attempt at a formal verse, of lines containing 5, 7 and 5 syllables. The subject is a pigeon calling from the top of a tall pine.

It's a high coo...

C

 

[joered]

I have once again turned my hand to poetry.

If anyone wishes, I will send them my latest attempt at a formal verse, of lines containing 5, 7 and 5 syllables. The subject is a pigeon calling from the top of a tall pine.

It's a high coo...

C

If it was an Owl, nobody would give a Hoot!

 

[Harry]

News of the World June 20 1948

 

[CatmanV2]

I've started investing in stocks. Mostly beef and chicken, but some vegetable.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

C

 

[Flint]