Never live it down

[philw696]

I'm still grinning from Darren's 5 minute warning

 

[Chiveroni]

He said "it's just nerves".

I said "no it's clarity".

I should have just walked out the church there and then.

Oh well, live and learn....

I'm on my third - we never learn! But third time lucky. My first car was a Citroen 2CV. I filled it with oil and forgot to close the filler cap (was on a hinge with a clip). Went for a drive - it was like an oil pressure washer had gone off under the bonnet...... Jacked up the front of my Jensen Interceptor on the cross member to enable me to drain the coolant. Didn't get it right and it slid off the jack - radiator landed on the jack and the coolant drained a whole lot quicker than expected.....

 

[GeoffCapes]

Same here matey. Every day with a 'y' in it brings something new
The best of mine, could never be told on a public forum.
But, I'll share a couple of driving related horror stories tomorrow.

I could probably write a book with some of mine!
Most of which are unrepeatable on a public forum.

 

[zagatoes30]

The one I get reminded about the most from so called mates.

Best mate was a mechanic and he had a healthy little business doing foreigners during evenings and weekends and I use to hang around as his sidekick to do all the boring non technical stuff, like jacking up cars removing wheels, oil changes etc. He was always buying new tools, especially analysers, gauges anything technical but would never let me use them as I wasn't "trained". One of his gadgets was a tool for checking how much anti freeze was in the coolant always good to show the customer that there wasn't a lot of protection and the antifreeze he had in the boot was good value (even with his markup).

One day when servicing a car in front of all the lads he shouted "Mac, can you test the coolant for me".

Excited about being able to use a gauge I rushed over to the boot pulled out the analyser from its box rushed back to the car to open the radiator to do the test. Only then did it hit me as the lads started to laugh - we were servicing an original Beetle.

I still get "Mac test the coolant for me" comment when we get together

 

[Vampyrebat]

The one I get reminded about the most from so called mates.

Best mate was a mechanic and he had a healthy little business doing foreigners during evenings and weekends and I use to hang around as his sidekick to do all the boring non technical stuff, like jacking up cars removing wheels, oil changes etc. He was always buying new tools, especially analysers, gauges anything technical but would never let me use them as I wasn't "trained". One of his gadgets was a tool for checking how much anti freeze was in the coolant always good to show the customer that there wasn't a lot of protection and the antifreeze he had in the boot was good value (even with his markup).

One day when servicing a car in front of all the lads he shouted "Mac, can you test the coolant for me".

Excited about being able to use a gauge a rushed over to the boot pulled out the analyser from it's box rushed back to the car to open the radiator to do the test. Only then did it hit me as the lads started to laugh - we were servicing an original Beetle.

I still get Mac test the coolant me me comment when we ge together

Reminds me of a Ronnie Corbett joke he used to tell at the end of each series.
Woman breaks down in a Beetle. Looks under the bonnet to find there's no engine. Moments later another woman turns up in another Beetle to try and help.
(2nd woman) What appears to be the problem?
(1st woman) I've broken down because I've lost my engine.
(2nd woman) Not to worry, I have a spare one in the back of mine!

 

[DLax69]

I could probably write a book with some of mine!
Most of which are unrepeatable on a public forum.

You should still try, though! You said MOST, not ALL...

 

[Wack61]

I'm still grinning from Darren's 5 minute warning

Nobody in the supermarket was grinning, they've probably got face recognition set up on the cctv in case I ever go in there again

 

[happydaze]

My first car (back in 1957) was a 1938 Morris 8 tourer. To lift the front wheels off the floor, I placed the small wind-up jack under the front axle. Not having any axle stands, I thought "that should be OK". Well, it wasn't!!! The axle slipped off the jack - which went straight through the Morris's alloy sump, covering Dad's pristine garage floor with oil.

That's when I learned to oxy-weld aluminium...

 

[Wack61]

My first car was a Mk 3 cortina, I dropped some girls off with a mate then did my best starsky & hutch high speed reverse round a corner followed by a fast getaway

Impressive, well it might've been if I hadn't backed into a telegraph pole

 

[DLax69]

...my first car was a Dodge police interceptor, of the Monaco/Cordoba platform persuasion, bought very well-used at auction. It seated 8 "comfortably" inside, with another 3-4 in the trunk when necessary. There was a field near the high school, and we got the genius idea to go four-wheeling in the cop car. Which was going great, until I ran over a tree stump that was hidden in the tall grass and ripped the radiator and hoses completely off the bottom of the car...

 

[happydaze]

Well, that's what happens when you have a radiator and hoses...
<---<

 

[mjheathcote]

Probably posted this before on a similar thread.
Lancia Y10 Turbo I had in the very early 90's had a troublesome downdraught weber. One evening was rebuilding it on my parents drive and after putting it all back together it wouldn't start.
I smelt a strong smell of petrol and noticed petrol pouring out of the tailpipe.
I'd got a couple of pipes reconnected the wrong way and I'd filled the engine with petrol through the crank ventilation system!
Drained the sump oil/petrol mix with fresh oil, but what was I going to do with the exhaust system full of petrol?
It was very late at this time, I was tired, with work the next morning and I needed to use the car to get to work.
Turned the ignition key through the drivers door window and ran!!
Unbelievably it started straight away followed by a tsunami of neat petrol out of the tailpipe.
To this day I'm amazed non of it ignited, such a foolish thing to do!

 

[Doohickey]

I backed my dad's car into a telegraph pole less than 24 hours after a passed my test. In my defence it was an Austin Maestro so probably deserved it.

 

[Felonious Crud]

I backed my dad's car into a telegraph pole less than 24 hours after a passed my test. In my defence it was an Austin Maestro so probably deserved it.

Good job. You were doing God's work.

 

[Tallman]

I once had an Austin Allegro - with brown interior - nuf said. I wasn’t a repeat offender though.

 

[Nibby]

Then there was the time I was in the van when I got the 5 minute warning on the Norwich ring road , right, best find a toilet

A petrol station, ideal , well it would have been if they had a toilet, I asked the girl if they had one , no , not for the public and a look that said there's no chance of you using mine

3 minutes lost , a bit further round the ring road , saved, a supermarket , I stop in the car park , step down from the cab

That's one small step for a man , one giant leap for thraaaapppppp

**** me

I make my way to the store like John wayne then to my utter dismay see the toilets are right at the other end past all the tills , people sniff the air as I walk past , wtf is that smell

Pants in the bin , I clean up as best I can then gingerly open the door expecting security to escort me from the building but thankfully the smell has disappeared.

Not my finest hour

Whole new meaning to ‘Norwich Ring Road’

 

[philw696]

I once had an Austin Allegro - with brown interior - nuf said. I wasn’t a repeat offender though.

Giving you a like for not being a repeat offender.

 

[P5Nij]

I backed my dad's car into a telegraph pole less than 24 hours after a passed my test. In my defence it was an Austin Maestro so probably deserved it.

Barely two hours after passing my test I jumped into my 1977 Mini 1000, picked up my girlfriend for a razz round the Warwickshire lanes, reversing in Birdingbury village I swerved to avoid the phone box and clipped the rear corner of a brand new Jag XJ-S. Oops!

 

[Wack61]

Probably posted this before on a similar thread.
Lancia Y10 Turbo I had in the very early 90's had a troublesome downdraught weber. One evening was rebuilding it on my parents drive and after putting it all back together it wouldn't start.
I smelt a strong smell of petrol and noticed petrol pouring out of the tailpipe.
I'd got a couple of pipes reconnected the wrong way and I'd filled the engine with petrol through the crank ventilation system!
Drained the sump oil/petrol mix with fresh oil, but what was I going to do with the exhaust system full of petrol?
It was very late at this time, I was tired, with work the next morning and I needed to use the car to get to work.
Turned the ignition key through the drivers door window and ran!!
Unbelievably it started straight away followed by a tsunami of neat petrol out of the tailpipe.
To this day I'm amazed non of it ignited, such a foolish thing to do!

Should have done it on the way to work to impress the kids walking to school

Mum look at that, a Y10 jetcar

 

[schell70]

Day I passed my test I razzed home and overcooked a corner resulting in going through a hedge and into a ploughed field. The farmer towed me out and made me buy him a pint in the village pub everytime we were in there at the same time for ages as compensation for his hedge and to not tell my parents.

T-cut was rapidly deployed on the scratches!