Favourite saying

D Walker

Member
Messages
9,827
If you 2 don’t stop arguing I will
Pick one of you up and use you as a stick to batter the other.

if you don’t stop crying I will give you something to cry for.
 

BennyD

Sea Urchin Pate
Messages
14,994
From the Bolton entry in Uncyclopedia.....

  • [short hiccup] : the
  • Ad : Had
  • Afert : I must
  • Areet : Are you alright? (This question does not require an answer, it is used as a greeting)
  • An : And
  • Buzz : usual local public transport
  • C-yaah : Goodbye or See You
  • Cock : Not an offensive word but an often used term of endearment "Ta Cock", "Off t'a shops cock?"
  • Easy : typical greeting
  • f’ : to ("...tell ya what f' do...")
  • Foo cough : Polite expression of incredulity
  • Gaaarlic Bread?! : The way of telling any wánker that you're born and bred in Bolton (from Mr Bolton himself, Peter Kay)
  • Me : My
  • Pants : Trousers, like the Americans
  • T’ : to the
  • Ta : Thanks
  • Thur : There
  • Wánker : Person not born and bred in Bolton
  • Wi : With
  • Yaah : You

Complete waanker ; Person born and bred in Bolton
 

Zep

Moderator
Messages
9,110
Everyone puts their trousers on one leg at a time

A blind man on a galloping horse would be pleased to see it (next to Benny’s motto on the wall at Maserati).
 

stindig

Member
Messages
446
Don’t spoil the ship for a hapeth of tar
(He was a Naval engineer)

There’s only one way to do something and that’s properly

Never show a fool or a child a half finished job
 

Wanderer

Member
Messages
5,791
My Dad told me when I was a kid that spaghetti was made of worms, and now, while I do eat it, I kinda feel not right about it.

And he told me these gardens on Le Mans Crescent in Bolton town centre were giant's graves and not to tread on them. So I never have even on the rare occasions I go back home..

74933
 

Wanderer

Member
Messages
5,791
Not my dad but my younger brother about 7 at the time came in our house saying a neighbour was going to take him on a trip 'up Holland' and he's all buzzing thinking he's off to The Netherlands.

In fact he was taking him to Upholland near Wigan...
 

midlifecrisis

Member
Messages
16,101
When your dad want you to hurry up.

Come on, chop chop.

Mrs MLC says that to her folks now. So if a Mexican in the Cancun region says that to British tourists, you know where that has come from.
 

midlifecrisis

Member
Messages
16,101
Not my dad but my younger brother about 7 at the time came in our house saying a neighbour was going to take him on a trip 'up Holland' and he's all buzzing thinking he's off to The Netherlands.

In fact he was taking him to Upholland near Wigan...
My dad told me that he's been in every street in Manchester today....

I was inpressed till my brother got the A to Z and showed me Every Street between Merrill and great Ancoats Streets...
 

Wanderer

Member
Messages
5,791
Keep doing that Stephen and I'll paddle your árse. Illegal now and possibly a child sex offence....