Christmas joke thread including the bad ******* jokes

[spkennyuk]

The really bad joke thread. Somewhere to inflict all those really rubbish jokes from crackers and other sources during the festive period. I will start you off :

My mate had got really bad OCD. The devil in mean decided to get him a box of celebrations as a present but i swapped all the wrappers round on the sweets.

He didnt half get his snickers in a twix about it !

 

[MAF260]

Father Christmas goes to the doctors...

"Hello, Santa. What seems to be the problem?" says the doctor.

Santa replies "I've got a mince pie stuck up my @rse"

"What??!" exclaims the doctor...

Santa says again "I've got a mince pie stuck up my @rse..."

"Oh, don't worry," says the doctor ... "I've got some cream for that..."

 

[spkennyuk]

How does Luke Skywalker eat his xmas dinner ?

He uses the forks !

 

[CatmanV2]

How does Luke Skywalker eat his xmas dinner ?

He uses the forks !

Nice one.

I assume we all know how Vader knew what Luke got for Christmas?










Yes, he felt his presents

C

 

[spkennyuk]

Im having a wookie burger for xmas dinner.
They taste OK but just a bit Chewie !