Was feeling rather jolly yesterday so I took myself off to my nearest billabong, very hot day, so pitched my tent under the shade of a conveniently placed coolabah tree, threw some snags on the barbie and whilst waiting for my Earl Grey tea Billy to boil, thought to myself “who’ll come a leaving the EU with me?
Was very jolly indeed as I started singing one of my favourite Queen songs, “I want to break free, I want to break free”...BONZER, it hit me. [some would say a eureka moment but I don’t like words beginning Eu)
Clarity- the UK’s next moves laid out in front of me.
A way to restore some pride, become equal at the negotiating table once again and blow a rather large hole in Europe’s we’ll tell you what to do smugness. And the best thing, they’ve given us the rope to do it.
Time is of the essence so we need to move fast. Cue the music.
We instantly reject Mays appalling subservient deal. Total bollox.
May is forced to resign. No vision, no pride, inept, useless.
If only she was more like me.
(Hopefully having left, the Eu will release her from their Manchurian Candidate programme)
A new Brexiteer PM is appointed who immediately makes an announcement that they welcome the Eu’s invitation for an extension.- April 12th.The PM promises to push forward with the referendum result, but will listen to remainer fears and will work closely with all sides of the house to ensure that the new agreement minimises the fears of leavers and is in the interests of the result, the Uk, Ireland and the EU.
The PM then jumps in the Lancaster bomber above( with Spitfire/Hurricane fighter escort) and heads for Brussels. On landing the planes will need to be closely guarded from Boeing spies who may attempt to steal our top secret technology that keeps them in the air! ( Potentially exportable in a trade deal to the US )
Some may now notice the different negotiating response.
Brexiteer Pm arrives, to meet Juncker/Tusk
Pm. Marches straight into the building, firm handshakes, “good morning”, (no photographs, turns around walks for the front door) “follow me”
Jc. Puffs as he struggles to keep up, “so you want a long (hic) extension, while you rethink your (hic) strategy”
Pm. (Still walking), “no actually we want you to exempt or suspend us from the upcoming elections. We’re leaving, you acknowledge that, you don’t really want us to be in Parliament inflaming others to do the same do you? We voted not to be there and besides if we’re exempted we don’t need a long delay and we can leave immediately once our new strategy is agreed”
Dt. “But Eu law doesn’t allow for it!”
Pm. (Still walking) “Change the law, you’ve done it before, QE, Bail ins, LTRO, I could go on.You’ve got a war clause for Parliament sitting, get a leavers clause”
Jc “Nobody’s ever left (hic)”
Pm. “Well we are get used to it, it might come in handy for others”
Dt. “Even if we could (Eu blinks again) we don’t have the time”
Pm. (Abruptly comes to a halt at the front door. Jc/Dt walk into them, Pm stands firm turns around) You’ve got until the last minute as usual, Besides....
Jc/Dt. Besides what?
Pm If you don’t, it’s no deal. (Walks out, no goodbyes)
What is Europe going to do?
This is all things to all men. Not all women obviously as one wouldn’t get the strategy.
Stands up, inhales, pride restored, packs up swag bag, goes home....well not home, home. But home here.
You can thank me all later.
Still working on the Eurovision situation...
www.theguardian.com
