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  1. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

    Good Friday morning all. Just finished writing the near-final draft of my Conference programme, ready to go to the printers at lunchtime. It is a massive pain trying to get the speakers to send sensible bios and photos, and then to assemble it perfectly. But also a satisfying late-night task...
  2. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

    Pretty bad, but listening to Laurie Anderson is very calming.
  3. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

    "I know this English guy who was driving around in the South. And he stopped for breakfast one morning somewhere in south-east Georgia. He saw "grits" on the menu. He'd never heard of grits so he asked the waitress, "What are grits, anyway?" She said, "Grits are fifty." He said, "Yes, but what...
  4. MarkMas

    Funny or clever number plates

    Saw EB10MAS on the M4 yesterday. @Ebenezer ?
  5. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

  6. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

  7. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

    Not me, but @2b1ask1 And "you're".
  8. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

    Morning all. I've only just noticed this: Is it new?
  9. MarkMas

    Terrible Jokes Thread

    I just had this very weird confrontation in McDonald's. Me: "One Big Mac without strawberries, please." McDonald's employee: "Strawberries?" Me: "FFS, I literally just said, NO STRAWBERRIES! What is wrong with you?" And then the manager threw me out. I'm going to Burger King from now on.
  10. MarkMas

    Where are ya Drinking Now?

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wattle_and_daub
  11. MarkMas

    I wandered, lonely, on a cloud

    Alan Coren wrote a fabulous story called ‘Publish and be Diblgd’, where due to a print deadline, Lewis Carroll is unable to proof-read a poem he had written, which was unfortunately not well-handled by the hurrying typesetters. JANUARY ’twas chilly and the slimy roads, Did shine and shimmer in...
  12. MarkMas

    Six Nations

    a thrilling shambles!
  13. MarkMas

    Warning - Unmarked toll roads in Portugal

    I got a message from New Zealand (via the car rental company) asking me quite politely why I hadn't paid a $1.40 toll. I sent a photo of my credit card statement, and they sweetly apologised for bothering me.
  14. MarkMas

    The good morning thread

    Morning all. Nice weekend with family ahead. If I can stay awake and not think about my 'to do' list.
  15. MarkMas

    Warning - Unmarked toll roads in Portugal

    As penalties go, that's a bit of a bargain.
  16. MarkMas

    Terrible Jokes Thread

    How cavemen resolved disputes before the invention of paper and scissors.
  17. MarkMas

    Terrible Jokes Thread

    Fixed it!
  18. MarkMas

    Terrible Jokes Thread

    Aaaaagh! Trying to fix this on my phone.
  19. MarkMas

    Old Adverts

    I don't like it, but somehow I can't fault it.
  20. MarkMas

    QPV Door won't shut

    A (the) pedant writes: Gaffer tape is moderately sticky and usually easily-tearable tape, designed to temporarily stick cables etc to stages. Duct (or Duck or duck) tape is very sticky and strong tape, designed to fix things together pretty permanently.